How often have you heard that people, in parting, I say: "Not together"? What exactly was the issue? That they are not understood, not accepted and not heard? What their desires and needs remained unmet? They are angry and offended because they did not receive what expected? But why is this happening and what is the character of a partner?

How to create such a relationship where both get what they want will be happy and satisfied? Each pair meeting and falling in love, dreaming about it. But whence then come the dissatisfaction, complaints and lack of understanding? My wife, guided by the General theoretical data, our psychological research and his own experience, decided to share with you theses about the stages of development of living relationships.

stage 1
love is a cunning natural mechanism

the fact that love is a very tricky natural mechanism that has only one purpose – procreation. When we fall in love, in our body there are chemical processes that cause us to feel a surge of desire, happiness and inspiration. And not by chance are increasingly invited to assume love is a temporary mental disorder. But exactly enamored with insanity the majority living relationship.

stage 2
Deidealization – rose-colored glasses are changing the magnifying glass

what's next? And then the rose-colored glasses fall off, and we are moving into a period that experts call "deidealization". At this time the fore the shortcomings of the partner. We have to see what people living nearby, has its own peculiarities and oddities, that it has its own rules of life; its requirements on how it should be. Sometimes this is the opposite of your beliefs about life.

stage 3
Lapping it hurts, but it is interesting.

After you saw your partner without rose-colored glasses, begins what is called lapping. During the grinding of complex and negative emotions will be enough, after all, have to agree, to concede, to accept, to tolerate and to work out common rules. Difficult period? Yes! Can it be avoided? You can leave until later, you can ignore signals, you can be angry and wonder why everything is so? – but to pass this stage of development of relations is unlikely to succeed. The most important thing in this period – to be able to agree.

stage 4
the Test of temptations and freedom

Rules are developed, the storm receded and the family the boat was finally floating in a calm and familiar waters. But often this calm is deceptive. Calm waters pose another danger – the test of freedom and temptations. The temptation to change your partner and to experience the feeling of love is very great, but still it is tempting.

If the spouses do not become one, despite the children, family business, financial well-being or unaffordable mortgage, the chances of losing each other grow. At this stage the General aims that need shared beliefs and values is obvious to anyone Union. A nice bonus is the Olympic team spolocnosti coupled with teamwork. And Olympic the same calm.

stage 5
Love is forever

And when you've passed through all the difficulties, when I see and accept partner the way he is, with all the advantages and disadvantages, when handled the temptations of new alliances, you suddenly feel a real sense of love.

exactly what is the feeling you will not confuse with any another. Although something of course, it will remind you of love. That first time when you couldn't keep your hands off each other, counted the minutes of the meeting, lived common desires and dreams. But then you largely led by hormones, and now it is your conscious choice, the basis for which are those joint actions, errors, and doubts, reflection and discussion, joy and good luck. That is, all your experience, in which near you appeared – you could even say manifested, crystallized – native and close person.

PS: what is the living relationship which we will cover later.

Anna and Alexander Borisov