Many literary sources teach us parents how to be good at raising children. "Children should be given freedom", "less deny", "don't scream, and certainly not to punish physically." So often adults have nurtured a sense of guilt for its imperfection. Then had to refuse, there yelled, and there is no time to play it... And generates a constant sense of doubt in their competence as a parent, growing irritation at himself and child, for the fact that it is not possible to be perfect.
As always, the question arises: "What to do?")))
I Think to start to become aware of the fact that their own children can be annoying, to annoy and sometimes to enrage. And if you have these feelings with you all right! Ever notice that the most powerful emotions cause us to the closest people, and not some stranger on the street even really get nasty with us. All because loved ones we care about. And besides, you know perfectly well our attention – what we will hook the most. And children can sometimes hinder us to sleep, chat with a friend, just relaxed in the kitchen. Of course, this Angers. So how Winnicott wrote : "Children fit enough good parents. A good enough parent – you and me." Harmful to try to achieve the ideal, the more that the criteria laid down in it, often just to contradict each other.
Here are some ways that you can do when you're angry with your child:
- Talk about your anger about, until it turned into anger.
Very often, the parent emotions are not seredynski. Often we suffer, not spoken comments, and when I "cover" it is difficult to remain impartial.
It's okay to ask the child not to distract you during an important conversation, an interesting movie. Why children often continues to distract? First, please note don't invade you in baby borders without warning? (drop everything and go do your homework, turn off the TV, go to lunch, take a break from the game, put your things away, etc) second, check whether you have given him to enough of your attention? (if Yes, he will be able to stay away from you).
And how you are experiencing your negative emotions in parenthood? Share your experience! It's very interesting!