Thank you for your attention to my articles. Today we will examine

  • what is emotional problems;
  • how to distinguish neurotic emotions healthy negative emotions;
  • outline the plan of getting rid of the emotional discomfort.

How to recognize emotional problems? 

Emotional problems happen to all people, and the challenge each of us to learn to stay afloat, remain intact under any circumstances. 

albert Ellis, the founder RAPT approach in psychotherapy, once said that there are horrific events in this world, and there are neurotic reactions of people who cause emotional problems (strong negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt, resentment, anger, envy, etc.) that interfere with achieving life goals, reduces the quality of life. He also recommended that it is easier to treat the ‘terrible' for man according to the principle of “Yes, I hate; Yes it's hard, but it's not awful, all this can be overcome”. 

This philosophy of life enables man to escape from the neurotic emotions and start healthy. 

What is the difference between neurotic emotions healthy negative emotions.

  1. Anxiety – concern. Anxiety over a man when he thinks that unpleasant event should not happen under any circumstances. Anxiety causes the person to think only about the problem, involves obsessive thoughts and rituals.

    the Concern is a healthy human reaction. He thinks that if an unpleasant event happens, it will be bad, hard, but not terrible. Concern allows to develop Bógreater share of acceptance and tolerance to the things that we fear.
  2. Depression – sadness. Depression as a disease is the result of a long period of anxiety, but now not about it. Depression as an emotion is the result of strict requirements to ourselves or to the world, which are not met. “This was not supposed to happen! They weren't supposed to do that to me!”.

    Sadness occurs if a person thinks the principle “of course I hate what happened, but I can't tell you why it's not supposed to happen”. We experience sadness when do not require something from ourselves and from life, and prefer it to be in moments of failure or problems. “I would like to always pass the exams the first time, but this does not mean that it should be”.
  3. the guilt – regret. the Person experiences a sense of guilt when committing a transgression and thus convinced that it should not be wrong. Then one generalizes the offense on the whole person, not taking into account the range of their behavior.

    Sorry as a healthy negative emotion that arises when a person recognizes his mistake, but realizes that he can make mistakes like any other person. He makes the insights and fixes to compensate for the damage his misconduct, without falling into guilt.
  4. a Sense of shame (embarrassment) – disappointment. the Feeling of shame occurs when one is stupid and admits his behavior is unacceptable, severely condemns himself. “I must not act foolish”. “If I acted like that, I'm nothing”.

    Disappointment occurs if the person is being stupid, criticize their behavior, but not itself as a whole. Identity remains unaffected. “I would always behave correctly, but this does not mean that it should be”.
  5. Anger-irritation. Man is angered when people do not behave as he wished. “They have to behave the way I think is right”.

    If a person experiences irritation, he does not like the behavior of other people, but he does not condemn them for it. To be dissatisfied with the behavior of other people, but not to judge their personality, that's what allows you not to feel anger against the people.

What to do to stop feeling neurotic emotions?

Earlier we found out that neurotic emotions are rigid, dogmatic demands (should, shall,̜to), and catastrophization (I can't take it, it's awful). The process of psychotherapy you can change their dogmatic requirements on a non-dogmatic preferences. And catastrophization tolerance and self-acceptance. A new formulation made from a template: 

Dogma It must be so.

Preference: I would certainly like it to be so, but this does not mean that it should be.

Catastrophization: I can't take it. It would be awful

Tolerance: Yes, this is hard, maybe even hard, but I can live with that.

PS If you are disturbed by strong neurotic experience, such as anxiety, depression, resentment, guilt, anger, etc., I recommend ask for help to professionals for emotional issues. Go for free test for level of anxiety and depression download my ebook “Self-help for panic attack”. These simple steps will help you develop a solution to problems.

Your Alexander Usoltsev.

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