Q: Constantly sliding on trying to earn the love, recognition and approval from men and other people. But realize, too late - you are betrayed, do not respect cast. A vicious circle. Understand that she can not cope. Although everyone loves to look wonderful. 
've Found a video about the complex good girl, to become lighter , but returned. Prompt, please, that was a lasting effect of how often to engage in the activity and how long after relief? THANK you so much for Your real help!!! Everything is very clear! 

Response: Good day. 
That would have a lasting effect - you have to enter analysis. That is to start individual counseling once a week for a long time. Meetings should be regular. Heal OTHER relationships. And work with a psychologist you get a new experience. 
the Exercises you do on the video, help to reduce the intensity of feelings, but of course feelings rise again - because they are connected more with the other senses. But the intensity of the experience of feelings is greatly reduced, but when the feeling comes back - you can keep track of, sustain it, feeling the heat there,  you have more strength and therefore you can act and communicate in some other way. 
it is Very important to find the key experience, “the core of the injury”. This occurs due to the removal of the intensity of feelings layer by layer. And gradually you will feel that your emotional state has become more calm and stable. The main thing - correctly to describe what is happening inside. If the status does not change after tapping, then it may not be exact hit (the naming) of your key experiences and feelings. Therefore,  working on individual consultations  is much more productive.

In the complex “good girls” so many feelings. 
I can assume that the key experience in your personal complex “good girls” is naive. And we need to interact. To understand your child's part, learning to take care of her. Because children are open, they trust not appreciating. And you are faced with the pain of betrayal, from what your expectations are not met, when you enter a relationship from a state of “good girls”. 
You can be wrong. One might think that love and approval must be earned. So I think the children's part inside of you. Way out of the vicious circle will help us a small and nurturing of self-confidence and feeling of being grown-up. 
With naivety is very painful to say goodbye. 
But it hurts when you ranites again and again. 

I say, after exercise that they can raise other experiences. Can emerge from the history memory, up resentment, anger, etc. Occur, the insights and awareness. Have access to deeper experiences, the layers of trauma – because you have the power to interact with her. And with feelings we need to continue to work. 

All experience as a tangle of feelings, to unravel gradually. 

And sometimes conflicting feelings are so merged that it is necessary to divide them. For example, the merger of trust and fear, guilt and hate, love and pain. That is, you feel these conditions are always at the same time, as if individually they feel and it is impossible to live. 
Videos help to reduce the intensity of the emotions, release the energy which often can go to work the next layer of feelings. So videos are very helpful, but individually they will not replace. 

also our psychic protection is stronger. Stronger than our consciousness. And so you feel a vicious circle. 
For your mental defenses this cycle feels safe for you because with this behavior you once were able to survive. Complex “good girls” helped you survive. Therefore, it may seem that it is impossible to get out of these experiences. 
What will you do without them? How to feel? What are the new reactions you have in relationships? All this need to think. "Good girl" within yourself you must accept, and be grateful to her, because she's incredibly strong. 

And it takes time to convince your protection – that would be better for you if you will act differently, to feel in new ways. This is another reason to work individually. TES helps softer to work with shields. And therefore, to heal their wounds in safe mode. 

PS: I Will be really glad to help you. 
Record on consultation by e-mail [email protected] or personal message.

PS.s.: Link video 

Irina Potemkina 
Analytical psychologist and practices TPP

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