How to live, not solve the problems?


Where the joy lives, how to tune it? Where do we see happy faces of people? When I walk down the street and look at the faces of passers-by, I have a feeling that all of physics or mathematics, that is, all very busy, all very hard and I think all solve some problem. If the person sees his life as a series of problems, it is likely that he is interested in how to solve them. To put it mildly, such a person doesn't know how to just live and not know how to enjoy life.

“I remember that in my childhood I always had something to do: tidy up toys, fix three, to wash the floors, prepare for exams, etc., and so it went, can't still stop” says Faith, 43.  

Sergei, 35 years: “My parents since I can remember, has always solved the problem: home, work, life. Even from the car my father was fun, he kept it repaired, washed or prepared to the winter”.

I have no doubt that those who are reading this article, you will find a million explanations for their concerns - why do you live for solving problems. I can Even say: “Tatiana, you do not understand, you must have no problem, you have an easy life, but if you were in my place, then.." and so on, I suppose. 

But you can lie in bed looking at the ceiling and decide that it is necessary to stand up to something to start doing. It's psychology, it's part of the Russian mentality, a sort of inability to simply live, and to be able necessary all the time to do something, to solve problems. for Example, people are workaholics who can't exist just in the family, with friends, they are nervous, and to calm the nervousness they need to do something. And for this reason they are practically never happy, happy with my life, can't relax and just live. 

What is it with people? This kind of psychological problem that prevents a person to enjoy life. What problems literally drive a man crazy? When a person happen difficulties in life, it seems that 90 percent of people perceive any challenge as a nuisance, which occupies all of consciousness. Even some trifle, for example, who – that – that said, who – that seem to hurt you, someone called you, and you're waiting, etc all of these reasons are well know and can do to continue to list everything that's on your mind, in the same spirit. As they say, every little bit a man out of himself and the person can not function normally, it is very much about this starts to think, "to twist in my head” until his brain explodes. These thoughts always cause a person to return to an unpleasant situation and spoil the mood. He begins to mentally speak with that person, find some arguments that he could to answer him, to explain that he is wrong. sound familiar?

unfortunately, the concern visible on their faces, suggests that people are very prone to obsessive thoughts that are about nothing are not good. One obsessive about the joy of not thinking, obsessive thinking about various negative experiences and problems.&If Intrusive thoughts do not allow the person to relax – that's already a problem. Such a person psychologists call a neurotic, moreover, some people have a feature that they feel comfortable only in the stress. If all is quiet, they start to worry, be nervous is unusual for them environment. 

Often people think that if they change something in their lives, or will become, it can make them more happy. Psychologists believe that this thinking is a psychological protection and care from the real issues. Yes, in some cases, the removal of the external problems or the acquisition of things guests can partially relax people, but not for long. There is a popular saying: "you Can take the girl out of the village, but the village of girls - not". In other words, the psychological state of the person will not change with the elimination of external causes. The dream of an expensive car, apartment, dissatisfaction with one's appearance, the choice of a new partner require all new investments and efforts. On top of that a different standard of living begins to dictate new terms, and various deadlines. Man continues to solve new problems, which again confirms that all of man's problems in his head, in the value system, in the usual dreary attitude to life.

the frown, the concern is the psychological stress of course leads to aggression. It is clear that relaxed people  more kind and more tolerant towards his neighbor. 

sorry, just read about how to get rid of the contrived problems in the head, not enough to start living again. What would you like to solve any problem we must first understand where it comes from. It is possible that this particular family setting, increased anxiety and fears, self-doubt, emotional tension due to which a person is unable to relax. If you don't believe that it is possible to live and enjoy, while remaining socially adapted person, it is possible that you have not met yet in your life joyful person. It is human nature to see only what is in man. Spiritual warriors are telling us that until a man develops he lives, he is alive. In nature, everything that can't grow – withers and dies. While we live, we always have the opportunity to become truly alive, joyful. “Every day, some times I choose to be joyful!” - that's good advice!

Pronkina Tatiana, analytical psychologist 

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