do Not educate their children, still
they will like you, educate yourself.
One of the main objectives in the education of the child – to find an answer to the question – how to raise a child happy? How to provide him with the resources inherent in childhood that allows the child to be successful, empathetic, healthy physically and psychologically, and just man, who sincerely get pleasure from life. But how often adults think about these issues, replacing the global goal is more domestic, do we always themselves asking this question when raising children? Often this journey begins with more everyday issues – how to encourage your child to tidy up toys, listen to adults, right time for lessons, how to develop intelligence and so on. Answer: make all, if we really took responsibility for a happy childhood of the child. Such questions are clearly very important in the upbringing and formation of personality in childhood, we become accustomed to self-discipline, digestible rules, learn to do something that is not always desirable. But there are deeper roots, allowing, or Vice versa, preventing to raise a happy child. Consider where it all begins.
the happiness of the child begins with happy adults, especially its parents, then the environment, grandparents, brothers, sisters and other significant relatives. The family is a system, with its traditions and laws, closely connected with all its members. Moods, conditions, illness, changes in one family member always affect the other members of the system, consciously or not. Particularly close and important the relationship is between the child and parents. Children, especially young, are very sensitive to the emotional state of the mother. If a mother is worried about something, worried, afraid that unconsciously betrayed a child. He begins to feel a strange fear, hurt, worry, not often realizing why. If we want to raise a child happy, you have to start with yourself.
first, the importance of so-called psychological "refinement" of the parents. Their commitment to this role in the fullness of all its responsibility. Not so much for food, sleep and other basic needs of the child, but also for the formation of a healthy psyche, and therefore a healthy personality in the child. When parents do not shift the responsibility on the child for his non-existing life, not blame the fact that he wants to become a freelancer, and not as they dreamed of in childhood and not become a doctor or engineer. The happiness of our children that they are our continuation in the truest sense of the word. They may have the right not to want to continue working dynasty, not wanting to be "like grandpa." Child it is important to have the ability to choose your path and to get the support of loved ones. When parents are able not only to listen but also to hear their child, and not to compensate for it through their complexes and unmet needs – then laid a very important basis for the development of sustainable of the psyche as the key to a healthy and happy future for your child.
second, it is very important why decided to have a baby. If a child is born "that would be not boring", when the meaning of the family of switches only on the parent-child relationship question – whether to give him the love and sense of security that a baby needs from birth. Yes, the kids do not get bored, but then what...Is that a baby is born because "it is necessary" and necessary to society, the family, not the parents themselves. Of course feelings, responsibility, awareness can come after, but if this does not happen, who will be education, certainly not on the society, and not ready for that parents. Again, readiness of parents to recognize the needs of the child, and not to shift responsibility for their failures.
When the child grows in an atmosphere of well-being surrounded by satisfied people's lives, he feels it, he has already formed skill as to become as happy in the future.
as the motet to have influence on a happy childhood and the development of the child, but a happy adult? Consider the main ways of growing up happy:
- Freedom in development. Freedom does not mean permissiveness or indifference. It is the ability of a child to show their potential, their abilities, and intelligence. The main huge leap child runs right in the childhood. At the same time formed the basic installation and Foundation of a child's personality. The child, it is important to test their strength, learn their potential, to understand "what if". In these studies, the child develops shapes his own curiosity. How often do we desire to protect the child from all repelled him from the research of reflex? Inspire, that the world is not safe. But without basic trust to the world the happiness of the child is very conditional. Kids love to ask questions, knowing the world and social laws. There is even a age of "pochemuchek". If adult wants to be rejected to the process of cognition, he says – "why are you doing this, this is nonsense. You know sooner" and so on. Thus there is a devaluation of the needs and wishes of the child, they hear it as "don't ask that, not ask questions, do what you say". Thus, as children grow, they lose their penchant for world exploration and analysis, used to live by the go-ahead parent "as the best".
- Punishment. Very painful and urgent topic at all times. the Child should know for what he was punished. it is a clear indication of his misconduct, and not just because he is poor. The child, it is important to realize the limits of what is possible, what is impossible, then the penalties for their violation will be less. Thus it is necessary not to forget about why is not. Explain to the child what the result of such action or act and not just an allegation. You can beat some of the educational situation in the form of a game, in the form of a fairy tale. No wonder in our culture so many cautionary tales.
- Double standards. This means that there is no uniform system of education and requirements of the family to the child. Today, it is tomorrow – no. Mom says one thing, she another. Important personal example of the adult's behavior, for example, when a child is scolded for the mess, but the parents are trash and does the dishes. The child absorbs not words, and your actions. The situation of double standards is very damaging to the psyche of the child, because he has not formed the boundaries of what is possible and impossible, there is no understanding of the structure of the demands of parents, no sense of security, as he does not know how mother would react to his act. Rules and regulations for the child should be uniform to all members of the family.
- Letting a child make mistakes for himself, to fill their "bumps". Of course, if the situation is not an emergency and does not affect safety. For example, when playing, the child is experiencing difficulty, the reaction of the parent to come to the rescue, to make it clear that the child will not cope. Thus, we deprive him of the opportunity to analyze their actions, to learn from mistakes, gradually develop the right solution and most importantly – the joy of their victories. If the child is busy with something, don't interfere. Give him the opportunity to succeed, not criticize, do not decide for him. It completely discourages the desire to do something and achieve. Give the child the opportunity to try the most is your respect for his efforts and interests. Let himself out of lace, though not the first time, but it will be another step towards independence and self-discipline.
- Understand the child. What does it mean to know his needs, to take them into account and reckoned with them. It's not just about the base, but the desire, the ability, and the inclination of the child. Needs change as they grow older, but if adult able to hear them since childhood, it promotes confidence and helps to understand the child in the future. Parents will always be helpful to be interested in what lives and enjoys their child. That for him and his peers is now significantly fashionable. This will help to find common interests with your child. The upbringing of a happy child, a happy personality is a difficult task, but solvable. If we remember ourselves, and to work on attitudes, beliefs. For a child it is important to see a personal example of parents. Want to raise a happy child and become happy themselves.