Conflicts perceived by most people as something bad that interferes with life and destroys relationships. And this is the case, actually. But remember that to live life without conflict is unlikely anyone of us will be able, therefore, to perceive them without hysteria or fanaticism. The best thing we could do is to learn to find something positive in every conflict in order to grow personally and develop relationships with others. To achieve this, is to start to pay attention to how we react to conflicts.
There are a few basic ways to respond to conflict. We will highlight three of the most common ones:
Those who use this method of response to the conflict, aimed mainly to protect themselves from, if not conflict, at least, of resentment towards the conflicting side. This method is effective only in the case when the defending party meets the attacker with the same force with which he attacks. If the reaction will be somewhat vigorously, it will encourage the aggressor to continue the conflict, continues its efforts for the escalation thereof. Interestingly, the use of less effort than is used by the enemy, also does not stop the conflict, as a rule, but only encourages more aggression. Seeing that You are clearly inferior to the conflict, the active side will you just "finish".
Shying away from conflict, as a rule, those people who are not particularly confident in their abilities. But dodging should not be the only way to respond to conflict. Dodge well in cases when the enemy is inadequate, highly aggressive and unable to control himself. Especially when you realize that, indeed, will not be able to rebuff and protected by applying a force equal to the force that this conflict has unleashed. If you are talking a freight train, then, of course, it is better to go off the rails.
it Is necessary to avoid conflicts with those people who regularly involve you in conflicts, but never want to discuss them further.
to Open up during a conflict may not be many, because it is always dangerous to drop down. But those who possess this way of responding to conflict situations, can be a lot to learn about your partner (opponent) and myself personally. The one who is able to open up during a conflict, ready to take some responsibility for the conflict on themselves and do not engage in mutual accusations that are so prevalent in conflict situations. Such a person can talk about their feelings and experience not only to the specific situation, but also to open their own old psychological wounds and scars.
it would be best to learn to control these three ways of responding to conflict situations, to use any of them in each case. If we are talking about family relationships, conflicts between partners, the best way to consider disclosure, using which, you can learn to be closer. Here begin to crumble all the protective barriers erected in our psyche, and true intimacy begins. Thus, when the proper reaction from our side, the conflict can be used for building up and not for destruction of the relationship.