How strange and awful it sounds for most people, the subject of my article!
Because each of us wants to be a good Parent, if not the best. And for some, the title of the perfect Parent is the meaning of life! But it's a completely different thing: as I think about myself as a Parent, and that actually feels and thinks about me Baby! br>
Here there is the first bottleneck of the discrepancy, which means hidden or apparent conflict!
We always want what's best for the kid. We are not bad advice (there was once this commercial on TV:" the Parent of the child is not bad advice"). And not for nothing she was. Because in the collective unconscious Parent to do with security. But so far not all and not always! And then there is intrapersonal conflict. Like Parents need to carry the support, security, love, and bear pain and destruction, sometimes without realizing it.
But the child still aware of it's Parent or not. His brain is all like records on magnetic tape. And then, due to this game model relationships with parents, and therefore with myself and life in General. And then the Child becomes the other, with a twisted soul, and sometimes physical illnesses. Remember children's ailments, such up to three years, all kids get sick and this is the norm ... And it really is their little body and soul trying to adapt to the parent press and to the relationship between the Parents. Which is also a huge stress factor for a child of any age!
so I reveal the methods and ways and reasons.
Start with the simplest of correction and finish the most difficult. Difficult is so difficult is recognized and the parent and child is very traumatic and is of fundamental importance. br>
- widespread expression-threats, " Mama will leave you if you are (not)going....". "You disappoint me, I feel bad for you...". Such a child I don't need, you will not behave, will give you." "I'll call my dad.....". "I'll tell your mother." "Children should not take money in hand". "You're the boy that you were washed away!". Well, you're a senior, you always have to give way to the younger". And it goes on and on.Thus, to save the location of the parent, the child is forced to abandon themselves and their desires and as a result, the search itself for the rest of my life.
- Parent compares their child with other children. This gives any child a sense of envy, of jealousy. Feeling depressed aggression to the parent and to the opponent. And then the whole of life as a competition and no one remembers when it started.
- Parent is pressing, so that the child has acquired the quality that a Parent is not at home, but would really like. Became who was not a Parent. And then the child, so as not to upset the parent, trying to please him and refuses his Fate, realizing the parent. Ie lives the life of a parent. And inside is accumulated frustration and anger on themselves and the parent.
- family scripts. This is a family standard model of behavior that is passed down from generation to generation. This play, a role which is pre-painted. Most often it is a negative scenario, and children as his hostages.
- And most painful and difficult is when the child plays the role of a third person (male or female) in the relationship of parents (mother and father). One or both use the child to manipulate against another. In psychology this is called the Oedipus situation. So it turns out that the child is drawn into this relationship, and the parents begin to communicate with each other only through the child, subtly wound each other. The father associated with the girl mother with boy....... and this stems from building relationships then the child with the opposite sex and choosing a life partner.
For each item you can write a separate book. It is important to understand that our behavior as parents affects not only the psyche, the soul of the child, but also his physical health. It is a great responsibility!
Every Parent brings up his child in the way he was raised by his parents, even if he says he will never do so. This is the beginning of the formation of the scenario of life!
I would be grateful for feedback and Your comments.
Possible supervision and advice of the author on the Internet.