How to safely Express emotions if the recipient does not want to listen


How safe can be an expression of their own feelings to another person?

If someone close to intentionally or unintentionally hurt you, offend, do you feel safe telling him about the consequences of his words and actions?

unfortunately, not all and not always tuned in to a deep conversation, and there are people(perhaps in your environment too), able to respond to the rudeness and lack of understanding on the seemingly quite adequate to defend our borders.

As a psychologist, I have trained myself to hide emotion caused by the behavior of another person, especially if I somehow unpleasant, uncomfortable or hurt, but the truth is that not all my friends were taught the same way, and for these amazing and crazy to reach a level of relationship where you can just say: "This is your phrase now I was offended because...".

Others sometimes it seems as if no one can openly show their emotions another, claim. This may be considered indecent, because in our society we hide true feelings and show only those that are "historically" considered positive.

So whether or not to continue a losing fight against the rejection of your senses the others?

the Question is moot, because, on the one hand, worthless "casting pearls before swine", and with another – it's our emotions, our pain, how to push them on the back burner and just forget?

unfortunately, we can not retrain another person to behave as it would seem to us correct. But we are certainly able to work with your emotions by yourself, for the benefit of themselves, because prolonged containment of negative emotions can provoke the failure and make the relationship with the family, only worse, as it may already be quite beyond their understanding.

What to do?

In the safe expression of negative emotions can help you, no matter how trivial, keeping a journal of emotions, where each new day begins with "Today I felt(a)..." and the list goes on bright every negative or positive emotion as it manifests itself physiologically, and the event which caused it.


"this morning at 10:30, I felt disappointment. This is when the ache in his chest, his eyebrows moved, and his teeth involuntarily clenched. The feeling arose from the fact that colleagues at work noted and praised the new hairstyle of the Manager, and my unusual haircut, no one even noticed."

If you doubt the adequacy of some emotions, take a second to analyze the cause and the moment of its appearance, and at the end add the phrase "I have a right to feel that way because...".

For most of the strong negative feelings that it is impossible to give an output, can be useful for sports, physical labor, walk, work, beating pillows, screaming(into a pillow), foot stamping etc. Good effect of meditation, but this method for those who are already familiar with it and knows what to do.

of Course, there is hardly a person who doesn't want to be understood and accepted, but it is always necessary first of all to think about their own and others ' emotional security and, in the absence of others of their emotions, know how to act.

Elena Shagako
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