One winter my friend and I went to feed the squirrels in the forest.
Squirrels jumping somewhere high on the branches, and seemed to us they had no case.
We got the seeds and slowly, quietly walked between the trees.
Squirrels began to jump closer, but still low to the ground.
We switched to a whisper and held my hands up high so the seeds were clearly visible tailed acrobats.
There is a special way of cocane language, which, for some reason, like proteins.
I photocal and then a squirrel stopped on a nearby tree and slid down with his head and taking a few quick steps, he stopped.
I poured a bit of sunflower seeds on the way so be near a pine stump and moved away a few steps.
Squirrel finally decided and quick jumping over a stump.
sunflower Seeds on the stump is over pretty quickly and we took out another seed slowly walked over to the stump.
the Squirrel jumped back to the tree, but low and cleverly zyrkaet eyes on us.
We sat down by the stump, spreading a new batch of Goodies.
Squirrel hesitated for a couple seconds and now sat again and clicked seeds.
And on the stump remained one husk.
I held out my hand with another portion of the...
what I think later after that meeting with the squirrel?
that the minimum level of trust, even among complete strangers.
If you walking on the street among the people that walk into the subway or the bus, in shops and so on, you at least don't perceive others as enemies, ready to pounce and tear you to pieces.
1. So from what starts trust?
In my opinion, there are three, so to speak, level confidence:
- Min: you are not afraid to be nearby, do not fear you transferred from subjects to communicate and exchange information (i.e. you are safe)
- Average: you do not fear and rely on your words (i.e. you're safe and sincere)
- Max: are not afraid of you, rely on your words and count on you in the future (ie you are safe, genuine and reliable)
Trust, perhaps even driving, so how can we determine the level of trust and behaviour trust, talking about the transition from one level to another.
Strictly speaking, the transition between "levels of confidence" does not occur in one second and division is a little arbitrary.
But the layering helps to understand the phenomenon in General and understand that maybe you need to do to improve the relationship.
And there is still, in my opinion, this pattern is undermining confidence on the first level, destroys trust and all the rest.
Destroyed the trust in the third and second levels are not necessarily destroys the trust on the first level, and may eventually be restored.
Maybe this is the answer to the question: "can you restore trust?"
And here's another important point: the important role played by such, often unconscious, patterns of thinking:
"Looks harmless, he's not dangerous"
"I know him, so I "know", and, therefore, he's not dangerous"
Relying on such ideas are not always justified, as opposed to confidence - excessive suspiciousness and distrust.
And then, of course, recipes can't be.
However, bear in mind the important psychological phenomenon: the trust is reciprocal trust.
so, if we define that first level of trust is formed when the perception of the other person as non-hazardous, that can help?
2. The perception of non-hazardous
- Look peaceful and friendly
- to Take an open posture
- Look unarmed
- to Provide contact information (address, real name, place of work and position, telephone number and contact information)
- Talk freely
- act naturally
- Look clear
- to Show the palm of your hand
Signs of a return of confidence in the Dating game
- Listening, reading your letters, gets you the files
- Supports dialogue
- Shares with you contact information
- zoom to
- Shares his attitude, thoughts, feelings, and secrets
- Invites to meet or even to his guests
- Accepts treats from you
- Accepts files opens e-mail
- Turn your back
- falls Asleep in your presence
- Adopts an open posture
And then what breaks the impression?
- Look aggressive or grimly
- Take the closed posture
- display weapons
- to provide contact information (address, real name, place of work and position, telephone number and contact information)
- Behave strange and incomprehensible
- Look mysterious
- to Speak angrily or threateningly
- Hidden palms
to quickly impress non-hazardous, people use various methods for quick, turning from a stranger the stranger in the acquaintance.
Although this does not mean that we really "know" another person, but allows you to melt some "ice" at the beginning of the communication:
- the Ritual exchange of business cards
- Filling in forms on social networks
- Familiarity through mutual friends
- an Invitation to visit, etc.
what are You doing to create trusting relationships when meeting?