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Sometimes our lives change radically without our on intentions: the reduction, relocation, divorce, separation from business partners, etc. However, in most cases, a stable life, one day like another. And here matured the decision to change life (myself)! Where to begin?



a Small digression. When I started to write this article, went through dozens of publications about the changes on the top sites. I was sure that the thoughts I want to share to banality is obvious. But no! As recommendations for changes life (itself), still impose to get up early to read a lot of books to restrict the rest of the PC, to sports, to set goals for each day, etc.

the feeling that everyone wants to change themselves to become the face of the rubric “success, success” or a picture for Instagram. And where do Pro-life?

When people are unhappy with themselves, that living is somehow wrong, it will be an even more unhappy, having taken such advice seriously. Because now not only is he a life change not - he just can not do anything to motivate yourself for sports or read a boring book about success to end or to get up before nine, even if it went to midnight....

So. Change should start with understanding what is really happening and where we want to go. And only after the appearance of a logical plan of action. Inside of us it can be a struggle: on the one hand, we crave change, on the other - hard to resist. How to cope with resistance, the answer is given in the formula of change of R. Bechard:

N + V + P> C, where

dissatisfaction with the situation,
a vision of the future,
P - the first (easy) step to change
- resistance to change.

According to the formula for the resistance change was minimal, it is important to be VERY unhappy with the situation; to IMAGINE exactly what will be the result of changes (where you want to go); to know WHICH ACTIONS are real and available for execution in the coming days.

let us Consider an intuitive example. Person under the age of 18. Living with parents he doesn't want, as it restricts his freedom not to have a party, it is difficult to invite a guest of the opposite sex, you need to comply with in the apartment (house), etc. Dreams that in a rented apartment will be somehow easier. Will it change your life?

Unlikely, if you find other possibilities for the realization of their freedoms, because the work to pay for rent will limit their tangible living relatives. But the relationships in the family worsen, the person to be invited for the vacant position as he begins to think seriously about changing their conditions! And there will be several steps, the first of which is to find announcements about the lease.

In this example, all simple. It seems that the circumstances themselves are formed as needed. Although if you look closely, people could speed up the decision about moving, strengthening components In a and P, recognizing in detail their N. And everyone will find surrounded by at least one who made the decisive step without waiting for aggravation N. :)

If you are looking for a change, take a look at your formula. How do you in your life? Outweigh the “pros” all sorts of “AGAINST”?

1. Evaluate how you are unhappy with the current situation on a scale from 1 to 10.
2. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10, how do you understand what will happen to you and in your life, when you make changes. That will be possible?
3. Rate on a scale of 1 to 10, how you is obvious first steps to new life/new behavior.
4. In any of paragraphs 1 to 3, an increase of 1 point on a scale will increase the likelihood of your willingness to act?

How to form a picture of the future, motivating for change, learn on the course “a Fundamentals of coaching”. On it you will receive practical tools that will help achieve goals faster and easier.

Yes, there is a separate course for colleagues who wish to strengthen the work with customer

PS From a vision of the future is born understanding the first steps - where to start. Sometimes they correspond with popular tips in the Internet and sometimes....

Alexander Borodin
2018-08-14
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