Many are familiar with the feeling when you close bad and really want to support. We feel the helplessness and anxiety, do not know how to behave. To do something, to say something, to hug, to be left alone?

actually it all depends on who is in front of you. People are different.

There are those who are most comfortable mountain to live in solitude. Let's call them conditionally "introvert". They can lock myself in my bedroom, push the curtains, lying in bed and want to be left alone. And perhaps for some time to leave such a person alone, do not try to engage it, intimate conversations, and help in other ways. To be there in the apartment, so he asked him if he wanted it. To bring him tea or food. To take little things that he is not able to do. In General, to facilitate his process of grief. Give the person to lie down, to rest, to sleep, to popechits and gradually recover their resources.

There are people more "extroverted" type. In the mountain they tend to be, but rather to reach out to others. Such a person may, for example, start calling relatives and friends and tell everyone about what happened to him. To tell long and detailed, with details, with feelings. So it becomes easier. The main thing here is just to listen, to sympathize. A person can additionally ask how to help him.

What not to say to a friend, when he in the mountain?

"All is well". This phrase, at first glance, very soothing. But you can't guarantee that everything will be fine. In addition, people understand that you are not ready to deal with his grief. This includes phrases like "what has changed", "don't worry about nonsense", but "the rest of you all right" etc., attempt to bring some fun and jokes. It is important to remain empathic to the human condition, despite his helplessness.

In fact, I would have given two universal Board.

First – just be there. In the next room on a phone or something. Usual friendly, sympathetic presence even without the right words, advice, or consolations will be healing for a person in grief.

Second – contact the man himself for advice on how to help him. It is even possible to say so: "I see that you feel bad. Can I help you?"

In conclusion, I should add that I did not delve into the nuances of, for example, wrote about the stages of grief. Or about a specific problem. My goal was to write something General and universal.

Anna Heiran
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