How to survive the anguish

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Every one of us have ever faced in life with a strong mental pain. Events that cause us acute suffering can be different – the death of a loved one, breakup of important relationships, a divorce, serious trouble, etc. So sometimes it happens that loved ones or life itself hurts us to the very depths of the soul. At such moments, and there is acute spiritual pain that captures me completely and we feel it with every cell of his body.

How do we deal with these experiences? Each of us has his way. But the most common is to hide from pain and suffering. To suppress the pain themselves, to mobilize, to force myself to calm down, to get rid of this pain in every way possible. A ways do a lot – alcohol, active outdoor activities, finding many different classes, getting stuck in a new relationship with a not very reliable people, dragging themselves in the Internet or watching TV, and more. In this state, we can decide not to discuss their pain with anyone, from people close, and especially not to ask anybody for support. By doing so, we would kill the pain in me. The feeling that she really somewhere retreated. It like as not. But only the joy of life either. Are not very sensitive to everything. Especially for yourself. In this state, to exist not very nice, but somehow possible. Then you kinda forget about my pain. You think she has in the past. I just don't know what to do with my apathy towards the world and lack of any desires. With such feelings it is possible to live long enough. To look at everything as if from a light haze of fog. Not to feel. But a long stay in such condition is dangerous because the farther, the harder it is to get out.

Pain can be experienced differently. Not to run from it, but to open to meet her. To suffer and cry as much as you need your soul and body. If not to keep their great sobs, they will not be extended more than 30 minutes. Each new wave of pain you can meet ... with open arms. To give pain the time and place in my life. No matter how hard it is to suffer, as it may seem it's tough to give vent to his feelings in tears, sobbing, grief. Any emotion, if not to block, pass 4 phase 1) initiation, 2)continuation, 3)peak experiences, 4)then the decay and remission. Pain, even very strong, if it does not interfere, and let live, goes through these same stages. At the 3rd stage – the peak experience of pain – we might think that it would last forever, that from such great suffering, we may even die. This point is important, too, to experience, to give him a place to be. And an amazing thing happens. The pain recedes. You really becomes easier. This is the 4th phase - the decline. You some time surprised to notice that was still alive. The pain something in you has changed, but not destroyed you. This feeling is exceptional. You understand that you are no longer afraid of pain. And it only gets better and easier. A new wave of pain you have already met in another way. You already have the knowledge and experience that the cycle of grief is finite, if we let it. The second wave of pain is usually not as strong. It may be a bit weaker or specifically weaker. Subsequent attacks are even shorter time and with less intensity, and so on until complete disappearance. This is an example of a properly pain. In this case, your suffering will not drag you for months and even years. You will not be afraid of pain, and hence will not be afraid to live and open for joy.

There is another important point in the experience of pain – accommodation not alone, but a person. Unfortunately, today so many people during his close strong emotions from other people and prefer to cry in a pillow, but not to show weakness to the other. Experiencing the pain with another person, speaking about his grief, we are providing ourselves with an invaluable service. The pain in this case experienced really faster and easier than when we suffer alone. Not close during his experiences, and to ask for help – it sometimes really need courage. But this is a topic for another article.

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