one day You realize that your baby increased. And lay on the sofa adult uncle or aunt. From this you can feel a slight shock, bewilderment "When it had?" and a little posokrushatsya, but how to find common language with him?
Before it was just fed, clothed, shod, and bought a new toy and the child is happy now, how to find common language with him, how to find the right words and momentum. But if we think of ourselves in adolescence, "dressing down" from parents and debriefing is not particularly helped, and themselves gave a promise never to yell at their children.
As advanced adults we've read somewhere that teenagers cannot be banned, any bans are perceived in bayonets, and the tips are exactly the opposite. Tell about their childhood, funny, righteous, show me one adult who didn't toss something such, than it is undesirable to tell their own children. Upbringing to let the process take its course "maybe you will grow wiser" - too not the best variant. And let's try to know your child a little better and learn how to use patience and tact to negotiate.
the Book or the movie "d'artagnan and the three Musketeers" seen/read probably every, the tale "Pinocchio", too, must know. So, the main characters of these stories perfectly describe 4 types of temperament, and if You understand the temperament prevails at Your child, You are sure to find the right style of shimodate and individual approach in communication.
If the character of a child is similar to the windy and headstrong d'artagnan, loving the adventures of Pinocchio, the teenager clearly has a choleric temperament.
If the child is similar to the closed and mysterious Athos, sad and suffering, whether or not there is a clear melancholic type.
If the character is dominated by features cheerful and optimistic Porthos, present and correct, but the slave Artemon, then clearly the child prevails phlegmatic type.
Discreet and judicious Aramis, wise and correct Malvina sanguinification have the type of temperament, consequently if You find similar traits in your child, you can focus on this type.
If You have correctly defined the type of temperament, so then You just need to learn to build communication.
If Your child is hot-headed, then the prohibitions of boring lectures and sermons don't work. Any bans and punishments can "break" child, but to teach him to do otherwise. For them, the important competition, the struggle for leadership
and win. Encourage these children to action, please send them tireless energy in the right direction, inspire by example. Believe me, teenagers really want to make the world a kinder and better.
Sanguine need things spelled out to explain what and why. Coercion doesn't just happen, it requires a clear and understandable motives. Looking for effective arguments, ladies and gentlemen-parents!
If the child is melancholic, then there is definitely shouting and screaming is prohibited. A feature of this type is a weak nervous system, and any pressure will only hurt the psyche, and certainly will not bring educational measures. Speak with the child gently and kindly, often praise him for his successes, to support and help to cope with natural uncertainty.
Phlegmatic need to convince. They need to lead 333 of the argument, explaining the benefits of the desired behavior. For this child it is important internally to accept this argument, appeals and orders are useless. Only beliefs and arguments on the principle of "I respect you - you respect me" will help the child to cope with difficulties. Yes, it takes a while for awareness and acceptance, therefore, dear parents, You will have to have patience, and believe me, it will be rewarded.
Yes, of course, pure types of temperament there, and You will definitely find in your grown-up Chad features two-three-four temperaments, but one will be dominant, so build with this in your communications. Yes, I understand that adolescents are difficult and hard but they also need our support, adult Council , acceptance and understanding.
If You have problems in the relationship with a teenager is invited for a consultation.