If the child does not obey parents, then he has formed a habit. Form the habit of obeying you can use "8 steps”. If your child is 2-12, it is an effective method. After 12 years, your child becomes your helper and friend.
Step 1: Extension.
Adjustment to nature, the facial expressions of the child, his voice and mood. In this step you talk with the child in his language. Look at the world through the eyes of a child. For example, a little boy found a branch in the yard – is not a dirty branch and sword, or a magic wand. Your actions in this case, not the ‘ ugh, throw it away immediately!”, and let's play the Musketeers. After the game "sword" in hiding "special place". And the child, in a good mood, leaves his new toy and a curiosity about the world is not quenched.
Step 2: Domestication: teach to come when called.
When the child is still small, 2-3 years old, you can play "Who's on first?” to play Well, when two children or more. But even when one child in the family can play. Who comes first, dad, or Peter? Cheers, Pete won! Peter well done! As a child, you learn to hear and listen. Of course, if the child has grown up and he is 12 years old, then there is not to play. In this case, you already agree on the format – I call you, you come. When you agree on a format:
a) make Sure that the child hears you. He is not busy with another matter, and your speech flows by.
b) That the child heard you. Ask him to repeat your request.
C) in violation of the format, to apply sanctions. Attention, item) without the first two don't apply ever! It is inhumane in relation to the child.
Step 3. Calm presence and format.
In this step we draw attention to the ability to “poker face”. Here you can use the “Sea of troubled times….”, or a “Day and night”.
Coach rhythmic gymnastics, ballroom dancing pay close attention to this skill. A sour face from the audience can just kick. And this gives the result. The child learns to keep the format perfectly.
Step 4. To learn to negotiate.
Give your child the opportunity to look at ourselves.
my daughter had a favorite word “then”. Make your bed – then. Gently fold in your wardrobe clothes – then. When I realized that to prove and to be angry is useless, I have accepted the rules of the game “then”. We had only half a day, when all her requests I answered “then”. At first she was offended. Then get angry and say that it's not funny. At the end he said: “I realized that I was wrong. “Then” – is the wrong word. It I don't like, let's cancel it”.
the Conclusion - the child can make the correct decision when his mirror, and he sees himself from the outside. He offers to negotiate. When he proposes, he tries not to break the contract, because he understands the consequences. But this is a somewhere from 6-7 years.
Step 5: No whims.
the Whim of the child – it is a protest that either don't understand him this bad, or struggles for power.
In the first case it is necessary to leave your business (they can't escape), to give the child attention, to play, to comfort, to hug to make it clear that it is necessary and significant. In the second case, use ‘method of extinction”. Give the child to understand what behavior we are not interested. His desire for us will become interesting when the child will Express it in an adequate form.
the Child can say, with pity, that he wants to settle down but can't. In this case, just hug the child and silently wait for him to calm down. After that, praise him for what he did. It is done!
Step 6: Requirements.
Requirements we have – these rules are established in the family. & a rules, and respected them always. Rules should fit the child's capabilities. In the morning and in the evening be sure to brush your teeth. Eat, bring a plate to mum.
Step 7: Duties.
Responsibilities are governed by the same requirements (rules). At the first stage creates a list of “what do you want me to help”. After a couple of weeks, the list can be renamed to "my cases". Can think of a lot of different things that a child can perform for the benefit of the family. Initially with her mother, and then to load the washing machine, to undress yourself, fold your stuff, feed the Pets, wipe off the dust. The child grows, a growing list of responsibilities. The only way he adapts to life.
Step 8: self-Reliance.
Independence developed over the years. From adults requires patience. The child takes the initiative to help, support. Do not try to just fix bugs. Let the child make mistakes. To understand errors are made, to ensure that next time is better. Let the child will think, I will tell you my opinion, as it would have been better. When a child busy and not asking for help, so not to interfere. If it is difficult, says nothing, is to say “come together" while only part of the story. Upon completion of the work to approve his efforts to praise. Well, that is scrambled eggs with the shell, but he made himself.
Step 9: Liability.
In large families the children are very responsible. Why? They charge things, they do them responsibly, because, you know, the result of execution depends on them. They seek their own way out of the situation.
To the child to grow up responsible, you need to make it clear to him that what he does is very important for the family, for his loved ones. For the development of responsibility and give freedom of action + control.
So the child develops the skill to obey their parents, and it's a great habit. Of course, this does not mean that he would obey always and in everything, but he learns to be careful what you say, what you ask for.