How we respond to pain?
Despite the fact that for several years working with people in conflict or post once the difficult events of life, to continue to learn in this thread and in General is important to me: every time I find new props to get acquainted with the thoughts, ideas, discoveries continue to be inspired by what you are doing, despite the difficult topic. To say that it was so painful after it becomes a little better.
the Loss - severe life event. When we lose another when confused or lost some support, values, hopes (in the context of violence, disaster, accident).
Today, I want to quote Michael white, the Creator of the approach that I practice/
"People always take some steps to either prevent injury, or, if this proved impossible, somehow, to alter, or to alter its impact on your life. These steps are based on the fact that people consider valuable, and is aimed at the preservation of this valuable. Even in the situation of seriously injured people are able to do something to try to protect and preserve what is important to them"
And it is my faith and precious hope. When I talk with clients, with friends, I often hear a story that follows the story of a traumatic event. This is not to deny suffering, but covers what we do in response to suffering. And even if I get a response "I did nothing", slowly we find these actions.
Thoughts, tears, silence is also action and response!
When we find their actions in response to severe life event, illuminate what people value in life. And it gives the opportunity for a new vision of what happened and how you can continue to live. It's important to me to work not only with traumatic themes, but in General: a new vision of how to continue to live in accordance with human values.
My mother drank in my childhood, and I was the man who helped sometimes not to know about our loved ones who the only "supported" her. Remember, she told me that. And for some time I blamed myself, that didn't stop her, I wouldn't say that you need to solve the problem, and if they were for alcohol and its influence. When she died, I continued to feel guilty. Now look at this based on my values and what I have learned and acquired. First, I was 7-10 years old! So I took care of her, it seemed to me that I give her support and don't leave it alone. Did it as I could. These were my answers to heavy, unkempt. And now I'm also this is important: take care and be careful. Now I do it as an adult and as it suits me. When I noticed that what I did was a response to the situation, my little answer, the heat from found, and the guilt soon left! I think mom appreciated this concern, too, as best he could.
How you respond to difficult events of life? That shocking and maybe if divides life into "before" and "after"? How would you like to answer now?