Another woman at the consultation talks about his life in love addiction. A story as old as the world and she is aware of this. She loves Him. He then attracts, then repels the cold. Dating another. She forgives, returns: because he calls her, then he needs it. Then again its cold and its excruciating pain. She is exhausted.
She ‘wants” to change.
- True, want?
- of Course. I'm so tired of this. I want to be free.
And even a glimpse of joy in the eyes…
as the conversation and comes to understand her own responsibility, her eyes dims. She's still "holding entity" thanks and leaves. I know that she will not come.
Because she realized the Price that she would have to pay for their freedom.
I finally understand what it really means to want to escape from dependence. It means not only to learn the price, but make the decision to pay it.
And if I was really honest with such clients in the beginning, I would have told them the following:You got so little warmth and love from their parents, which is a welcome attention from the men makes you euphoric state, the state of narcotic or alcoholic intoxication. Is high, which pulls. But the dependence has a second side. She always destroys the body, the mind, the psyche. And the destruction is much greater than the pleasure that we receive.Have your men has the strength only to pull you when he needs it. power to keep you and build a relationship, it does not have. But to admit and even realize it it might not. Therefore, the fact that the relationship is not working, he will always blame you. This wine and you will be destroyed.You have to understand that if you want to get freedom, you have to give up feelings of euphoria. The euphoria that gives you that man. To give up forever. You will NEVER feel that feeling unless you start using drugs or not learn how to experience religious ecstasy (but it's not accurate, I have never been there, I can only suspect). In healthy love feelings are different – more relaxed.You have to devalue the image of men you created. He is not the only one that gives you warmth. He and the Prince and the beast. When we finish the therapy, its a beautiful image fade and it will be sad.You will have to turn to yourself. And this – one of the most difficult points. Because you want to love is easy: come to Him, so he hugged me, whispered a few words, have sex with you. And you are happy. But when it stops, you appear to be de-energized because there is no other source. You don't feel love for yourself, you don't want to hear your desires and give yourself the attention, sympathy, to do something for yourself. It is much more difficult than to drag yourself to where will be given “free”. During this “free”, you are ready to pay with pain and humiliation – it is familiar and therefore easily. Examine yourself and give yourself love is much more difficult and the reward at first seems less. You will feel that you are alone. And it can last for a very long time. Until then, until you open the source – the Love of ourselves.You are free to make any choice: in the direction of freedom and on the side of maintaining these relations. And in that and in other case you will have to pay. In the first case-hard inner work, in the second – mental and physical condition.
Always your choice.