I am on a train. Nearby sat two women: one to 45 years, the other about 18. They sit and sweet talk, laugh, read each other journal notes, discuss. The older woman pulls an Apple from her bag, hands him his companion and says: "Sing, daughter." Daughter bites an Apple and puts her head on mom's back. Only uncomfortable – Mohawk prevents... Colorful hair, colored eyebrow, lips and nails neon colors, earrings and chains in different parts of the body and clothing – all the attributes of punk is evident.
What is interesting in this situation? Mom! She really like the looks of her daughter? It doesn't matter for her? Does she care? I was looking at this pair as a foreigner – just in a friendly way and have built their communication. I remember as a child my friends and I, standing in the entrance, washed the traces of makeup from the face to the parents did not notice...
Many parents are painfully react on "non-standard" appearance of their child. Even as adults, we often hear from their parents regarding how we look and behave.
the Reason for this is mainly low self esteem parents. Parents appreciate yourself like a child: "What say (think) people about me, if you see THIS my child?!" Children, especially teenagers, protesting when parents forbid them to look the way they want – they defend their right to choose (first in clothing and then in life). Begin scandals, the relationship between parents and children suffer.
And what is more important: a decent appearance of your child or a good relationship with him? Of course, sometimes both. And if not?
whether to Buy the child what he chooses or to make a choice for him: "Blue t-shirt, because pink is too bright (not suitable, you just have so much tasteless...)"
to Provide our children with the freedom to choose may be safe for all only when there are good relations between you and of course your self-esteem. I'm working on how to restore both.