"you're hurting Me! I am sorry! It's hard for me!", - probably there is no girl who would not say such words to herself or to her friends after any kind of traumatic history, as a rule, associated with the incorrect behavior of men.
misconduct,it should be noted, this is
destructive, distorting or devaluing the behavior of men to the woman. We are not talking about what a man buys his girlfriend an ice cream and she like more "gourmet", for which she is "mortally" offended. This option is not for this publication. We will consider a really good reason for resentment, especially when the man chose to meet with friends instead of a romantic evening with a girl (in bouquet-candy period) or when agreed on a joint visit to a Museum or concert, but for a couple of hours she gets a text that her companion "busy"
more important matters. the Reasons can be myriad, as well as their explanations.
Resentment, on the one hand, it is an emotional outburst. A glossy and publications not only inform us about the dangers of resentment, but either way any such note looks at some extent sleek. "To not be offended This is bad..." etc. In other words, women caught in such situations should still restrain their emotions and behave as if nothing had happened. Caught even as a note about the offense with the Council "to thank for the insult!".
on the other hand, resentment is a defensive reaction on the fragile personal boundaries of women, the litmus test of the vulnerability of women.
In the opinion of women, and the psychologist is too. That is "does not show that you are offended", "thanks for the insult" carries with it the risk of deepening the masochistic end of the victimization (leaving in the victim's condition). Followed by the development of deeply toxic scenario "patience" for the sake of men.
Devalues the features of the behavior of men towards woman:
irresponsibility (unwillingness to share responsibility for a particular problem encountered in the life of lovers);
humiliation of women
depriving women of protection, words of support and gestures of affection.
it is Pointless to turn in the same gloss woman in the bitch's hysterical, in a completely silent female suffering all for the sake of his men. Woman and man are living people with their emotional characteristics, needs, hopes... an Important and constructive approach. If possible, and relations more or less preserved, it is necessary to establish a dialogue in which a woman is real, sincere, not afraid of his own vulnerability.
"I hurt, I hate, because....". Yes, it is important to voice their grievances. That girl is not a silicone model of a man with heart, soul, thoughts, leads to a lively dialogue. "Yeah, I don't get enough attention from your side!". Most importantly, is the preservation adequacy in the dialogue. When there is a rational reason for the offense, the search of the circumstances that led to this action, or negative events, to Express an opinion much easier.
however, the adequacy of the girl is to see and the pros and cons of the relationship and learn to objectively evaluate a particular situation. So, regularly receiving the rejection of a campaign or a joint movie nights, a girl has to wonder whether the young man feels for her deep feelings and serious about their relationship. (And here a rational explanation of resentment in the dialogue is that "there is something that gets in the way" that interferes with relations, work, employment home, helping a friend, etc., but precisely because it is relationship must be a compromise, or ways of their development).