Summer vacation, I eat Breakfast in the restaurant at the hotel. Great weather, a terrace with tables hanging over the blue sea. The Bay is of such beauty that take your breath away. In a great mood, but was soon overshadowed by two scenes, one after another.

at the next table sits a family with two children 5-7 years. The boys argue, laugh, then a senior starting something enthusiastically to tell my dad. His dad doesn't listen, eating silently. At some point he stops chewing and looks up at son. His eyes barely restrained anger. Finally, he does not stand up and pours them on the head a bucket of that anger in the form of dirty book. For what? Why? It is not clear. The boys froze, their eyes the pain. Mom is not paying attention– apparently used. Continues to post photos to instagram.

Next to my table is a children's Board, on which you can draw. Two girls, one older, about seven years old, the other a little younger, taking the crayons, draw hearts - who is better will succeed. They fit a boy of 4-5, also wants to try. First, he timidly stands next. Girls do not pay attention to him. The boy begins to ask the chalk– pretend that it is not near. Asked the sponge, girls chase him, he is outraged, grabs the sponge, runs away, they catch up. The goal is achieved– it is noticed and accepted. Begins with the usual "Boum", a joyous shrieks, the patter of children's feet. The kids are happy. They did not interfere - a lot of places. The people at the tables smiling.
Suddenly, from behind the Desk stands a young woman, her face contorted with anger. It is suitable for children and firmly takes the boy by the hand, dragging him along. That's his mom.
— Sit down, you shitting me hisses it.
the Boy just happily chasing girls who have found a company that was just in euphoria from the overflowing of his feelings, shrank, drew his shoulders. The mood is spoiled. He feels bad and unloved,
What did he do this that disgraced mother? Nothing.

I often marvel at the metamorphosis taking place with my little clients when the session ends and they come out into the corridor. I just saw the joy in their eyes. They were open, creative, relaxed. Were such as should be children. But leaving the office behind the door waiting for their mom, they stare down, pull his shoulders, straining his back. Why the closest person becomes a constant source of discontent and criticism?

Why in our culture education is still criticized? Why is it that a good mother is one that endlessly makes comments? How often we hear words spoken with reproach, that the child misbehaves and the mother even comments will do!

Not arguing, comments must be done, otherwise the child will understand what is good and what is bad, but all should be the measure. Endless criticism leads to the fact that the child is discouraged. Since forming learned helplessness. If it is impossible without comments, then make them friendly tone. The word "comment" the same root with the word "notice", which means "to mark".

If we criticize, then your child needs to know and feel that you love him no matter what, and blamed for his own good to continue not doing something that is dangerous or prohibited.

note the question. Do you always scold the child because he is guilty? If there is no way that the reason is not in it, and in your bad mood? But the mood is spoiled, for example, at work?

If this happens, do not take the trouble to apologize to a son or daughter, try not to allow this to continue.

In fact, we educate children by example. Don't want swearing - do not swear yourself. Smoke - do not expect that the teenager will not smoke. Lie - do not expect that the child will tell the truth.

to understand what the other person is feeling, it is useful to put yourself in his place. Now imagine what your child, when he endlessly make comments, criticize and criticize. Would like to be in his place? You can call it a happy childhood?

Here and I about the same. So, let's help our children become happy. At least will reduce your pressure. Children are wise creatures, they learn quickly, having example before my eyes. It depends on us, what kind, good or bad.

Oksana Surzhina
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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