Under incest often refers to heterosexual or homosexual relations between relatives who are not mutually husband and wife. But now we are not talking about them, but about hidden incest, more and more incestuous.
Incestuous always shrouded in mystery, and even an experienced physician can be difficult to identify it. Incestuous silenced, but its shadow covers the whole family and not in one generation. Each participant knows only her part of the truth, but does not discuss it with others. Secret kept at any cost, for example the cost of mental health of the child. Mental health of parents in a family is a separate issue, often one of them is narcissistic perverts.
What is it if not a sexual act? It's the atmosphere of incest, in which there is nothing illegal, but to live in unbearable. The child becomes a way to meet the parent(s) with a price development of their own sexuality. Despite the absence of physical violence, effects of violence on mental can be very heavy.Examples of the incestuous can be more or less obvious:
When the child becomes a regular witness to the sexual act of the parents. When the intimate life of the parents discussed with the child, for example: "we haven't had sex because your father it is not capable of." When the child becomes an accomplice of one of the parents, covering adultery or discussing his private Affairs. When the child becomes an accomplice cheated the parent, sharing with him the Heartbreak of infidelity. When the personal life of the adolescent is discussed in detail, including its sexual activity and brand of condoms. These situations are "toxic gift": on the one hand, it's flattering to be believed most important for you person and be with him in such close contact. On the other – such confidence distorts (distorts) the views about the relationship.
There are less obvious signs, like when the daughter is forced feminine flirt to get father's money. When a parent prefers to sleep in the same bed with a grown child, sending the other parent in the other room. When an ordinary family tenderness a little more intense than usual. When the mother goes with her daughter to the office of the gynecologist. When the house has no personal space and can go without knocking into any room or bathroom. When the family common to all hygiene items. When the father punishes the grown daughter spankings.
These features are only indirect manifestations of the incestuous, the main is in a strange atmosphere of the unspoken. The paradox of incestuous atmosphere is that sexuality can totally be denied, for example, condemned any child's interest to the opposite sex. Often a child feels guilty to what is happening (not knowing what it was). This is not surprising, because in a family the roles are often blended, and the child feels a parent. Whatever it was, such a violent atmosphere for the child's mind and causes serious changes. The child tacitly denied the right to own psyche, he is forced to remain an appendage and a satisfactory one parent.the Possible consequences for the psyche of the child in adult life.
- Impossibility to grow up and to create a family without parents.
- Undeveloped sexuality.
- Promiscuous sexual behavior.
- Disgusted from himself.
- memory Problems.
- more likely to enter into a relationship with abuterol.
What to do if one or two examples resonate with your life?
In writing the article were used the following references:
RACAMIER P-C, Le génie des origines. Paris, Payot, 1992
HURNI M., STOLL G., Saccages psychiques au quotidien. Perversion narcissique dans les familles. Paris, L'harmattan, 2002
1 I translate incestuel incestuous, not as incestuosas or incestually first, by analogy with the word "unconscious" (inconscient), and secondly, because the same French word incestuosité and incestualité have a slightly different meaning.