Often people who come into therapy expecting that their life will be better, easier and happier. With such simple and straightforward, it would seem that the expectation of disappointment is inevitable.
In my opinion, as a result of psychotherapy the client a portion of their ordinary ceases to direct the creation for himself of the same problems, and now directs to more creatively to adapt to reality.
Focus on what efforts are saved! Just before they were spent unconsciously on repeating neurotic patterns and to deal with the consequences of those patterns of behavior. There is a kind of strength you need to have to repeatedly devalue and suppress any of your emotions or to ignore the reality of the obvious things ("least favorite job, but it's supposedly stable, satisfactory relationship, but they are; lack of money, it's because I'm a good man; destructive lifestyle, but I just relax and at any time may terminate"). As a result of psychological work efforts are directed at least awareness of what and how I do, and max, and even to change the old routine way more effective. That is, it is a conscious effort on the awareness of, pardon the tautology, and change your life. That is still exercise! Because habitual patterns are strong.
the conclusion that just will never be easy. The illusion of absolute happiness adult a person may experience only drugs, but first, it is an illusion, and second, these flights have a lot of side effects, which just made life harder.
Infantile expectation that there are some key factors that happen dramatic and fatal (that is once and for all) positive changes in life is quite dangerous. Why? To rely on illusion in principle, it is dangerous, there is a chance to ignore life itself. It is sad to discover on his deathbed that the magician in the blue helicopter did not arrive and we waited, waited...
That will calculate your astrological chart, understand everything, and I'm well on stars. Here have a baby (or two) and then just a sense of accomplishment to a life in a big happy family. Here I go to the psychologist to a meeting, he will tell me what to change in my behavior and all my sorrows will pass. Here I find my calling, and will be my every day excited about your favorite things, money and fame will flow to me by themselves by the river. Here will create a business... That will travel around the world.
In fairy tales says it is true that after the fateful change (the implementation of important projects, meeting favorite, the disclosure of talent, crossings, etc.) live happily ever after. Just do not write that to work in the sweat of his brow, or all of these gifts will ashes. The Bible says: "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread". If you have entered the path of knowledge of good and evil (which we all are, as beings endowed with consciousness), so to study and learn with the good and evil contact, infantile heavenly Kingdom not to return. Trying to keep infantile, as for adults man, doom themselves to suffering. The same applies to crises: when trying to stay more infantile stage, if you've outgrown.
Although the flap or not to flap - it is voluntary))
In working with a psychologist occurs the careful analysis of the automation and support in the search for new creative ways of dealing with reality. As you know, pink glasses broken glasses inside, but that did not happen, it is better to go to the optometrist with whom it is possible to choose something more appropriate to your vision and the season before moving a truck that is in pink glasses seemed magical floating butterfly.
Ekaterina Chizhova, psychologist, Gestalt therapist, supervisor,
PS After rain on Tuesday again come summer)