About adultery. Part 1.
Today I want to touch on a hot topic. In this article we will talk about the possible causes of changes.
In my previous articles I talked a lot about the violation of the hierarchy of law when the child takes his place in the family system. For example, a woman becomes a wife for his father, or the man getting the role of husband to his mother. What happens when a man, in the symbolic role of the husband meets a woman and creates with her family? First- it's a rivalry and as a consequence conflicts with the mother-in-law because the woman and her mother-in-law pretend to the same place wife this men. How to behave in this case, a man in favor of whom he will choose? Who can be a better mom? No woman can compete with my mom. Mom's soup always tasty, the burgers juicier, cleaner floors, aglaranna shirts etc. For women such a man is empty. They can't do equivalent exchange energy, including sexual, because it has a wife – a mother. But mom is not. So often a woman falls on the role of mother for such men. Usually these processes are deeply unconscious, but some are quite aware of what is happening, but nothing I can not do. Exhausted such a relationship a woman needs male attention. And sometimes is the kind of man who is ready to share. Is infidelity. And then what? The woman covered many different feelings about this, on the one hand she received the coveted male attention and felt like a woman, and on the other hand it is a huge sense of guilt. What happens if the mother finds out about the betrayal? It will also be a celebration: "Son, I told you that this woman is not suitable for us, here's a look what she "bad-and-so", and anyway, why would you a woman, you have maaaaaa..." the Man in turn, deep in the subconscious mind understands what is happening, he's mad at his parents, he is angry with the woman, but suppresses his feelings but he is so bad that he starts drinking. And continues to live with mom and to drink the rest of your life or until you get to the doctor-the psychotherapist and the psychiatrist who will help him.
About a similar situation on the strength of its destructive action and the situation, when a woman stands in the role of wife for his father. Such women usually conflict with his mother. For men this woman is empty, dad will always be better than any man.
to Solve the problem of change require an integrated approach. The first thing to do is to take its proper place in the family system and to separate from parents. Then there appears a free place to a partner that has all the chances to build equal partnerships. If both partners have taken their place correctly, the chance to build a relationship is much higher.
In the following articles we will talk about the most terrible for men and women in the cheating partner and what to do if cheating has occurred.