Infidelities. Part 3


Good day!

Today I present to you the third part from the series of articles about the affair. With the first two you can see here:

In this article we will talk about what to do if cheating has occurred. As you know, Bert Hellinger addressed the exchange of good and evil exchange. If the fact of change accomplished, it can be considered "evil" that requires compensation.
Here are possible options. Both husband and wife are not interested in a relationship. Then if adultery is no offset, there will be a rupture of relations. Since the "abuser" will subconsciously feel guilty, but "offended" would be entitled to claim compensation.
But if the spouses are interested in further relations, that is caused by "evil" must be compensated. To preserve and continue the relationship, the damage should be compensated for the slightly lesser evil.
there is a rule. "Hurt" assigns "price", "abuser" or accepts the price and pays it or doesn't agree. If "offended" and "offender" agreed to "price" of compensation the parties shall perform the agreement and that the matter should be closed. "Price" needs to be assigned once and, accordingly, compensation should be single. In this case, the "offended" we can not declare the same in a few years, for example.
But it must not be taken as a system of repurchase. This does not mean that you can change infinite number of times or indefinitely compensate. Although in practice such pairs also occur.
In this lies the answer to the question of whether to forgive infidelity. To forgive is not easy, because the moral harm caused to the "offender" is quite large. And no compensation will be a burden both. But if the cheating was offset by a slightly lesser evil, the chance to save the relationship is.
it is Worth noting an important caveat. From anyone, even protected intercourse women have a probability of getting pregnant and it means that the couple can become parents. Such relations connect people. So, the "lover" or "lover" become part of the family system forever. And they may be eligible for membership. But they are often excluded. As well as can be excluded former partners. And then someone from the family system will remind you of excluded.
So before you change partner, it's worth thinking twice whether your family system to let the family system of other, sometimes unfamiliar person!

Fedor Erokhin
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