Intimacy as a process...


to Be close means to be able is close to not rejecting, not closing his eyes, dormant and passive, observing and taking what I see it's not included, do not want to change, correct, taking what is close to you, but not you, while remaining in himself. That's the beauty of intimacy, a moment in which you make a decision to act, to approach or to move away, to leave and to stay, to feel, to listen, to merge or to destroy, invade or absorb, strengthen contact through closing, or to move away from what is unpleasant, is not desirable, it is not necessary or dangerous.

most Often, the importance of proximity remains undervalued, invisible, as we are committed to action, action but flattens and simplifies, accelerates and devalues the significance of the presence of the phenomenon of intimacy, in which there is transformation of desires to act, if only we are willing to renew it. Most often, the desire of action, reactivity, arises out of the relationships with himself which we have reached, or stuck in a particular stage of development.

For example, the child eagerly grabs the desired object rejects unwanted or he just drops out of sight as non-existent. Hunger, aggression,  fear or depreciation, these are feelings that are crucial to the level of action. The proximity of the baby's fragmented, fleeting and exists only in order to perform an action, while the mother's closeness can be sustainable, long-term, true, especially when she looks at her child not wanting to change something, admiring them sleeping, playing, eating, being close, but not intruding into its processes.

At that moment she experiences a range of feelings successive, tenderness,warmth, anxiety or confusion, pleasure or joy, interest,serenity, excitement, peace, integration and unity, peace, anger, surprise, disgust or admiration and many other feelings, emotions, sensations and conditions that endlessly follow each other without invading the other, and it is close but not in it. Proximity is the distance at which the other remains other, we remain as we are, but we vividly feel the other through itself.

a Simple example from nature, when we are cold, the less we clothing, the brighter and finer sensations, which, as it penetrate us from the cold, but in fact it is thinner and brighter, we feel it changing yourself, but changing the cold. We can dress up and have less to feel cold, although he is not changing, blunted feeling it through the density of our clothes, and therefore by increasing the distance between us, to reduce proximity.Who can easily withstand the cold is not hiding? Those who have adaptation, the ability of thermoregulation in it, self-governing, autonomy and the ability to be in close contact inside yourself with yourself. I don't have a cold, I have a body that is warm and we can be close without mixing, separately but together and separately. Similarly with any other weather phenomena and relationships with all that surrounds us, the animate and the inanimate. Only we make the decision to increase, reduce or terminate the process or proximity distance.

this is Also manifested in ourselves, about our internal States, events, feelings through which they say the archetypes, subpersonalities, roles, Ego - States.  how close are we with ourselves and is able to prolong the moment of intimacy prior to a decision to action while in inaction, for as we holistic. Actions can break, destroy intimacy, but they also open it, increase and compacted, make transparent and thin feel. Being close to their processes, phenomena, we learn about  themselves, learn to be with yourself in this growing sensitivity, an ability to flow and self-production is not preventing them, maintaining them and trusting the process, adapting it, realizing its depth, watching him both inside and outside, and only when we absolutely know and understand the process, we move to action. We decide that this is known to do, how to interact with it in fact relying only on your choice, just by relying on their sensitivity and resources to prolong or break it, strengthen or neutralize.

this same happens in relationships with people. When I say we are close, it means that I have enough sensitivity, greater range of expression and resources to interact with those who are near, not breaking contact, not tearing close completely, and as though walking, dancing next to others of its own motion, under my own rhythm, leaving or approaching, feeling separate and close to another, while maintaining autonomy and respecting its autonomy, the same integrity, the same desires and feelings.

If we can be close and private, between us closeness, the aim of which is not very closeness as communion with others as an opportunity to renew the process of feelings, change of feelings, emotions, desires. This self-knowledge and increase their own resources beside others not by him, but by extending the time proximity, brightness and subtleties of us together.

If we together want this proximity, we create a relationship in which not he and I, and our intimacy, which is the format of relations, in fact it is a relationship. No intimacy, no relationship, there is another form of contact where we like a baby, which reduces the time proximity-only decisions and actions: to possess, to reject, devalue. There is closeness, there is a special space in which we can endlessly feel new beside the other, and this process brings us mutual pleasure, we want to renew it.

Be ready for a more intimate relationship with someone, it meant originally to be close to yourself, Poznan, accept, feel and self-regulating, Autonomous and whole, able to withstand and interact with any of its manifestations, desires, to realize and to self-heal, to cultivate, or Refine what is recognized as important or best taking to mitigate or to let go of what is destructive, unnecessary, obsolete, outdated.

Fine-tuning yourself gives you the ability to be configured to another without takeovers and mergers, without the destruction or enslavement, without the  fear and aggression requires an immediate gap, with the exception of danger to life. Perhaps this is where the admiration as the origin of love, through what we want to be near loved ones, to come into more intimate contact, increasing the range of interaction by increasing its sensitivity. To enjoy through the senses and feelings, caress, indulge, feel the difference and protivopolojnosti feelings, be filled with it, without seeking for immediate action, and in an effort to seal the location using the extension it.

In fact, closeness is not an act but a condition occurring before the action, as a moment or an eternity for a choice of actions, even though the proximity includes the same steps as the form is filled with content, "the closeness between us" as the process for usayvarlesi of action, and as I wrote, the more we feel, the more options, the more the sense of intimacy.

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