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In his article «Love – to give” I talked about as I understand the word “love” and what it means in the relationship.

But getting a little further, I realized that love – this is not the most important thing that must be present in the pair.

What is intimacy?

For me, proximity – it's about the maximum openness between the partners, where the couple are not afraid to entrust their thoughts, feelings, fears or dreams.

Intimacy — is the ability to touch the human soul, make him present with the whole burden of the past, to withstand the internal resistance.

came To mind the metaphor:

the Inner world of the partner, his soul – the door, which he opens and eventually wider and wider. You can go and see how many interesting, old, perhaps new. You walk slowly, consider the items, where to ask for permission to look closer, to something of considerable interest.

If partner opens every time that door and let me inside and willing to share stories intimate and personal, it speaks of his trust and proximity to you.

Only if it is mutual, it and your door opens easily, then we can talk about a deep level of relationship that you unite will respect and value each other.

But most often in family relationships is found in a different situation. One of the partners wants to learn about feelings, thoughts and experiences of your partner, but occurs all the time either with a closed door, or open it to him, and then with all your force slam, sometimes pridemov or hitting him.

If the partner is going to knock on a door or to “head”, then there are several options.

  1. Partner will generally no longer interested in the feelings and thoughts of the elect.

 Complaints to the counselor's office are as follows: “He/she is insensitive, I for her/him an empty place, he/she pays no attention to me”

  • Partner withdraws into himself.

 Complaints to the counselor's office: “we Have everything smoothly, quietly, everything seems to be fine, but I can't take it anymore”

  • by one of the partners starts pursuing aggression with demands and accusations.

 Complaints from a psychologist: “He/she is guilty, he/she doesn't want me to hear, I tired to ask”

  • one of the partners may cause a feeling of deception and hypocrisy.

Complaints to the counselor: “I do not know with whom I live, I know nothing about him, I don't understand”.

The quick closes or does not open “door” feeling: fear, shame, guilt, anxiety.
 And the one who knocks in a closed door: bewilderment, confusion, frustration, resentment, sadness and despair.

 As we see everyone experiences many feelings, but they are not positive and do not lead to convergence partners.

 Close relationships – it is always about safe relationship. In trusting relationships we endure and resolve conflict and behave less hostile, because we understand what is behind the response.
 In a relationship it is always important quality. You can listen but not hear, look but not see, can touch but not feel.

 When partners are close, they compensate for the shortcomings of each other, they become emotionally sensitive, gentle and caring. In such a relationship there really is respect, and thus can achieve a long and stable emotional balance.

 Many people confuse intimacy with a similarity, a sameness, a merger, lack of personal boundaries, but it is not.

Proximity – is the depth, openness, unity, intimacy, crownest.

Proximity – more than love. This is an opportunity to touch the magic, to know the soul of a partner better than himself.

                   

                                   Personal website: m-doverie.ru

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2019-03-13
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