"Can you yell at the child?" I'm sure that now readers will be divided into two polar sides. Some will say with confidence: "of Course NOT! How can you yell at the kids?!". Others will exclaim: "of Course, YES! And how can you do without it, when these children do not understand?! We are also human, we get tired, and then they with any nonsense climb and mischievous. How else to show parental authority in the home?". Maybe I'll surprise you, but the other answer is in fact true only in nature.
the Main thing is to be patient, to arm yourself with composure and try not to yell at the kids, following tips:
1. Always remember that you have already gone the way of the child and therefore wonder why the child something again and again does not understand. He, in turn, the first passes the path of development into adulthood and it really is complicated that you seems trite and simple!
2. Pin usually productive dialogue, the interlocutor's (even an adult) can not hear or understand what you want from him when you approach him, shouting or accusations. It enters the stopper and retreats or gets in a defensive response, or starts to behave in the same way, imitating you or defending against you. The result – absolutely nothing good, only that you moved away from each other even more. Authority can come in the form of anti-social personalities, and you will not even notice how fast it became not your got under bad influence.
3. Think that your pattern of behavior with his child is borne as a way for his future and is reflected in his consciousness. When it becomes for adults, that is, as the norm to broadcast the same behavior (as a stereotype) to their children. And what his experience with children – lay now is you!
4. Give yourself the right to fail, because you, too, are for the first time in the role of mom or dad! Sometimes parents are afraid to admit that they are wrong, believing that it would undermine credibility in the eyes of a child. But really, children have immense respect for those parents who can admit their mistakes, sincerely apologize, to hug and kiss. I also had a similar experience in kindergarten, when I first after College he came to work as a caregiver. By accident, but Diana fell from the highchair, and I didn't insure it. I wasn't ashamed to apologize to the girl. Although it took more than 20 years, and I still warm the soul of the episode when I got up on his knees before her, to apologize, and she hugged tightly and kissed with the words - "I love You!" And it's worth it!
5. We need to realize that a child is a mirror of the parents. If you want your child to have learned to manage their emotions, start with yourself. Show an example, but remember that emotions can not be clamped and hold it in, you have to learn to manage them.
6. Remember that the child does nothing "evil", pre-schooler it is not typical. He still doesn't know much, he was very interested and he's trying to explore the world through all the senses, and therefore only makes all sorts of nonsense. Knowing this, you need monotonically and systematically repeat the same rules, the same requirements while he will not understand what to do exactly so and not otherwise. And then, sorry - no praise can not do! Remember that we can say clearly and demanding instead of screaming. This promise the child will learn much better.
7. If you feel tired or irritated, understand that you need rest, so tell your child, but in an understandable way. You don't like something, and be sure to explain why. Or are you tired at work and can't pay attention to him, ask to play one. Thank in advance for your understanding. This will give the child a new knowledge that you are not a robot and that you also need the peace and relaxation that will invoke a sense of compassion, care and assistance. Not immediately, but definitely will cause!
8. In any situation, respect your child and if being punished for something the child needs to understand at this moment that you are unhappy with his actions, not by him.
9. If you really want to scream, play with your child play "Wicked drink." A shout, but in a disposable Cup. Or together with the child "polybasite" capritime the dust out of pillows. Listen carefully - if caprison dislodged. You can repeat the procedure. Or crumple old Newspapers and leave each other, swearing at the same vegetables: "Pumpkin", you said, "a Cucumber!". These games will help to relieve the intensity of emotions and to vent aggression or frustration.
10. Children grow quickly and you determine that you will be the warmth and intimacy or resentment and alienation. Now it depends on you!
Interested in the topic and would like to analyze personal situation - I'd be happy to help and waiting for a personal consultation!
I Wish You success in the education of children and harmony in the relationship! Be happy in their own way!
Your psychologist, Catherine Agafonova.