Like=to be good?
We are taught from childhood to be nice. To instill the idea that the greater the number of people we like, the better. It is generally desirable to be liked by everyone.
In childhood, most kids get it. Even if someone they don't like them, it is perceived as a system error. You just have to be better, to behave and succeed. Children believe it is sacred.
When it comes adult life, you find that pretty we're not the majority. On the contrary, a large part of others at best, indifferent to us, hostile at worst. And only a small part of us likes. And even then not every day.
But children's principle: "you just become more good, to behave properly and succeed" — still works. People bending over backwards to be nice to everyone and to please everyone.
In the end, neuroses, psychoses, and depression.
But like is not equal to be good. Can be good (from your point of view) and not like the other person. Just because he has different ideas about the world. Paradox: you can be bad (from your point of view) and like the other.
[b]What to do?[/b]
- to Recognize the fact that you will never like nor the majority, nor even all in a row.
- Rejoice in the fact that you at least someone likes it.
- learn to be nice to people. This is the normal human condition. In childhood you were cheated.
- Each time you someone is not liked, rejected or hostile attack in his side, ask yourself: "why I decided that I must like this person?"
This simple question puts everything in its place.
let's Say you liked the man, and you tell him no. You upset. And, actually, why? Why did you decide that he must like me? Because you are beautiful, slim, well-read blonde?
But if he likes chubby, not too smart brunette? He needs to change your preferences for you?
Another case. Put a beautiful photo in Instagram. And you wrote in the comments – "fat cow". Ask yourself – why I decided that I must like this person? Maybe he believes that a woman should weigh 45 pounds to be beautiful. Everyone has their own idea of beauty. As of decency. Some they do not. You got to do with it.
In General, often remember that you adult people. Like all in a row — impossible. Learn to be nice to people. This skill – perfect protection from unwanted emotions.
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