If we talk about low self-esteem, it is possible to make a generalization. On the basis of their practice family psychologist, I can safely say that low self-esteem has more than half of people with what I face at work.
the Problem of the self is reflected in all aspects of human life. With this theme quite a lot and successfully work in almost all psychologists and psychotherapists.
Today, I would like to discuss this in terms of jealousy. Quite often I hear the question: "what do I do, am I so jealous?". Here at the forefront and raises self-esteem, well, then have to go to some events that happened in the client's life and left their mark.
Want to show it on the example of female jealousy when I was working with a client of 26 years, who recently got married and was in position.
my Relationship with my husband was relatively normal (according to client), but there was a problem she identified: "My husband often visits his ex-wife, they have a child together. Ex-wife does not allow him to communicate with his son. They just meet and talk, then he comes home and looks upset, maybe sometimes a drink."
After that, it's already starting to cheat yourself by saying, "suddenly he loves his ex-wife, and he doesn't want me", etc.
Here in this state we have started to work with her, and went out on her troubled self-image.
There is a very good technique that allows you to pull from customer information, which he himself often for not aware of or cannot Express. Initially, the client was terse, and without revealing all of the nuances, work would be much more difficult.
I will Tell You this plan a secret. She saw the image of his "ideal self", which outwardly appeared brighter, was more talkative, confident, walked forward, spoke in contrast to her first. Accordingly, the work this way helps to overcome resistance of the client and to the States, which he has not, but which are needed at the moment.
the Work in terms of desired qualities in common with the events of her life. The first that made a negative impact, had a relationship with a guy. When she was 15 years old, she fell in love with and the guy is not reciprocated, and began to meet her friend. From here it carried conviction: "I am worthless".
there are difficulties to get to this belief is easy to remove.
However, there was another difficult situation for my client. When she was 21 the first time she married, her husband began to change. She remembered how she waited for him, standing on the balcony until the morning. Called him, he promised to come, but it still was not... and so it went on from day to day.
And then came home she found him in their apartment with a woman. Having such negative experiences in her life, she brought in a new relationship, expecting her husband to a possible repetition of the situation.
In terms of our work have the opportunity to determine all negative status, which she received from his first marriage, and to fill myself with other desirable resources. Family psychologist is easily solved. We made the change: humiliation – confidence, anger — calmness, confidence and happiness in personal life, lack – of trust, affection and love.
Back to the relationship with her present husband. It turned out that his condition derangements after a meeting with his wife and supported her "sour" face. She remembered what he said to her: "you used to not be like this. You I was met with another face." Now we could easily fix it, when they took the traumatic experience of the past.
and the conclusion, one more point. In our work, it became clear that she considers herself to be worse than his first wife and constantly compares himself to her, because she's taller.
I Remembered the situation when client was 16 years old, she dated a guy who liked tall girls. Hence it is rendered "inferiority complex" in terms of its growth, though she was 165 cm. Is we changed. And well it worked then that she remembered the words of her husband: "I chose you for who you are and love you. You're the first who touched my heart."
my work as a family psychologist was completed. I want to quote to You the words of Honore de Balzac: "life's adversity is the touchstone of character. Who can not endure hardship, can not live." I want to add – the words are beautiful and deep, but how heavy a burden?