JEALOUSY BETWEEN CHILDREN.
to Avoid jealousy at all, most likely, will not work, but to minimize, or to help the child to live and cope with this feeling is possible. Wake-up call for parents should be the desire of the senior to the Junior cause some damage. If such a signal is, you should reconsider your attitude and approach to education, it is possible to go to a psychologist. And that's what could be the mistakes that led to aggressive mood in relation to Junior.
- One of the first mistakes that parents are, for the first time after the birth of Junior, senior give grandma. But of course, there are exceptions, when a trip to grandma's planned and long-awaited. The first time for the senior most alarming because there is a fear of loss of parental love, fear of the unknown "as it is now will change my life." Therefore, it is important to try for the first time to observe the custom of the SR mode and to perform normal daily rituals. Often, when children realize that mom's love remains the same as before, the alarm goes off and the jealousy becomes less.
- the Second error is when a senior is forced to share their toys and personal belongings with the younger. The ideal variant is when a senior selects a few toys, which he can share, and separates those that are not willing to give. And parents recognize his right not to give valuable things for him.
- the Third possible error is the order of obligation for age. It is known to all, "Well you're big", and then it can be "you have to understand, to yield, to follow, to answer," etc. of Course, such changes and of duty may not like the kid and he might his anger in relation otvetvennost can send to Junior. Yes, he's a senior, but he's still a kid.
- Comparing children among themselves. You can discuss their difference and individuality, but to compare, that is to name who is better/worse,more/less, especially as a reproach to the older - not worth it.
- Sverkajuschii parents of children in conflict among themselves. Do not encourage the involvement of you in the relationship of children among themselves, if the child will know what to encourage mother for the proceedings, it is useless, then he will learn to include their resources in order to negotiate with the brother/sister. The only thing that can support the feelings of the child, but to rush to clarify who is right and who is wrong - not worth it.
But, we are looking for mistakes not in order to confess, but for the sake of clarification and necessary adjustments. But remember that the mother is a living person, she might have a different mood, different resources.
What will help the elder to live jealousy or to minimize it:
- Your readiness to discuss his changed life in connection with the emergence of younger. Create an environment in which it is possible to ask any questions and voice any feelings, such as fear, resentment or anger. It is important that the child voiced their feelings, and not concealed them, in fear that these feelings you're to blame.
- the Involvement of senior to the common family business. If he has the desire to take care of the baby and help you care and maintain this desire and give thanks for the help to the senior didn't feel superfluous or disturbing.
- the Time you spend together. Only he and You. And well, when it's stable and repeatable history.
- Confidence in Your love for him. He often say things about love for him, and of course maintain physical contact.
in General, it is important to recognize any mom that story about jealousy, it's a natural story, and it does to avoid it, perhaps, impossible. It is important to take the feelings of the older and not to look for guilt.