from men and from women often hear that they can do nothing, and do not want to change in yourself.
For them, very painful is the question of assuming our share of responsibility in the relationship. Hiding behind the fact that the character will not change - it is what it is - the people build a wall between itself and the opportunity to improve something in their personal lives.
But you are not, dear readers (or readers of) this of my article. I know and even I can assume that you are familiar with a term such as emotional intelligence. Today I propose to talk not about change of character, because he really almost defies correction, and the development of this ЕQ.
In case you have forgotten, what is emotional intelligence (or ЕQ), let me remind you that this is a person's ability to reflect and consciously evaluate their feelings and adjust their behavior based on this knowledge. An important caveat here is clarification of the question - who is responsible for what. That is, instead of "men hurt me" is the translation of understanding towards the fact that "I let them make me uncomfortable and hurt me" and even better "I allowed myself to be offended by them."
When ЕQ not up to the required level, there are often situations when a girl thinks and is constantly in contact with one who she thinks she is in love with, and found quite another. This discrepancy can be perfectly explained by the inexorability of fate and the fact that nothing can be done, but if a little harder to ask, why did the answer actually she will not appear.
so, one of the signs of the outlined phenomenon is to stay in the relationship with the unloved man, and comfortable-it does not happen, not to mention everything else. And all because there is no confidence in themselves, their likes are not taken into account. In spite of them, these girls tend to marry unloved, because they have to, because it's time to kids and family, and generally am tired of my present life.
In such a relationship, girls replace women position position in which their man is not even psychological, "son", he is not clear who. And so the man is for her. What he told her? That's a good question, which is to reflect to see what can happen to a marriage and children.
What is the dry residue from this still very sad stories?
And he that when things approximately so, to a happy married life still needs to grow. For this you need to increase your emotional intelligence and learn the following:
- to appreciate the emotions you have;
- to recognize them;
- follow your heart, or rather, the direction in which you push the emotion.
Now let us examine these three points in more detail.
You fell in love? Wonderful, very cool! You think that not one - not so important, still rejoice, because whoever he was, your sense will enrich in the first place yourself. You can make him happy and be happy myself, seeing that was able to please the object of his ardent feelings. Believe me, to give something to your loved one is many times better than to receive from him. And if you do everything exactly the opposite, then, sorry, you don't like it, but simply want to use to meet some of their needs. Then your work to develop yourself to them to identify their needs and learn to meet them on their own.
unfortunately, there are objective reasons that do not allow to be in a relationship with someone you love, and then it is important to be able to complete them. After all, if you are mentally stuck in them, you will not be able to build any new relationship. To let go is very simple, if there is an inner readiness for it.
to Endure the men that you frankly don't fit is a sign of low emotional intelligence.
With the unloved man will not be happy.
- Why do you ignore your feelings?
those are the questions on which to reflect and make a willful decision to turn back has to face him and to follow its sympathies.