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as background: I work for a corporate business trainer in a large company. My bonus depends on many factors, one of them is the average score on the feedback questionnaires from the participants of my trainings. One day one of training, the average score turned out to 8.8 and I was horrified, because usually the norm for me is 9.3 and 9.6 (out of 10). The entire quarter I worked even harder. To the rest of the training overlap is low for my rating of 8.8. By the end of the quarter I went for the usual indicators, and have made another discovery – the maximum award that I get for the score in the questionnaires are paid for 9 points, and so the 8.8 is not low, but very high rating. But the paradox is that in my head, good grades start with 9 points in that time. When in the opinion of management is the highest possible score to receive the award. That is, I expect from myself in work more than the people I work with. This case prompted me to research on the topic of Irrational beliefs.



We assess the situation and perceived it through the prism of some of our beliefs that are associated with how we function in society – we are all social beings, it is important for us to be accepted in society. And to make people comfortable to interact with each other, there are so many rules and regulations. Among these beliefs are Irrational or restrictive.

what's the restrictions that give Irrational beliefs?

first, nobody knows how to be a true leader, mother, woman, psychologist, businessman, etc. You are trying to reach a non-existent ideal, to be in accord with that, in principle, impossible, because it does not exist.
the Irrationality of judgment deprives flexibility and makes human behavior focused. In case of discrepancy of their irrational beliefs, the person experiences strong negative emotions such as shame, anger, guilt, depression, etc.
And finally, Your Irrational beliefs is a great tool for the manipulators.

Signs of rational judgment:
  • the Truth and confirm experience
  • Relativity.
  • Moderation, that is, the judgment does not cause strong emotions.
  • Efficiency (helps achieve goal).
Signs of irrational judgments:

Untruthfulness.
Example: "I will not survive if you do not pass the exam."
Categorical.
Example: "I should...", "I should...", "the World should...".
Relationship with strong emotional manifestations.
Example: "It's disgusting if a person writes with grammatical errors".
Ineffective (does not help to achieve the goal). br>Contain the word Absolutes or suerheroine, such as: always, never, everything, absolutely, extremely, etc.
Example: "the Head never has the right to be late,"
include assessment of: Good-bad, right – wrong.
Example: "good housewife and mother at home always in order in the fridge first, second and compote"

A. Ellis American psychologist and cognitive therapist, author of rational-emotive behavioral therapy approach in psychotherapy considering the negative emotions and dysfunctional behavioral responses presented the connection between our thinking, emotions and behavior in the following way:
  • first, thinking and emotions are connected.
  • second, they are linked so closely that they usually accompany each other, acting in the cycle of relationships "cause and effect", so that thinking becomes emotion, emotion becomes a thought.
  • third, thinking, and emotions tend to take the form of self-talk or internal proposals, pronounces people to himself, which, in turn, are or become their thoughts and emotions

On the basis of his famous test to identify Irrational beliefs can be divided irrational beliefs into 4 categories :

Catastrophical - reflects the perception by people of different adverse events. It is human nature to evaluate each adverse event as a horrible and unbearable.

Obligation in respect of itself Extremely high demands of himself.


Obligation with respect to other – excessive requirements to other people


Estimated installation shows how a person evaluates themselves and others. The presence of such a facility can attest to the fact that people tend to evaluate individual traits or actions of people, and the personality as a whole.



How to work with irrational beliefs?
  • to Identify their R & d in every field of life
  • Add choice
  • to Bring someone else to look the part.

For clarity, transform a few Irrational judgments rational:

Irrational belief

Transformation

Rational belief

a good housewife and mother at home always in order in the fridge first second and compote

Add selection, remove the rating and over-generalization

If the hostess has time, the house she order and in the refrigerator first, second and compote.

Manager never has the right to be late

Take categorical

the Supervisor has the ability to be late for good reason.

I will not survive if you do not pass the exam

Take disaster

If I don't pass the exam I will have more time to retake.

It's disgusting if a person writes with grammatical errors

Take strong emotions

I'm not interested in people who make grammatical errors.

I Think you will agree with me that rational judgment, more freedom, opportunities and flexibility. I hope through this short article You become Clearer in what is Irrational values, You limit yourself, and You become clearer what to do with them.

If necessary, I can Send a Test A. Ellis on the definition of Irrational settings, for this send me a personal message.

Rodionova Anna
2018-03-25
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