the

"My husband lost interest in me" - with tears in his eyes begins the story of Svetlana, - "He is a very good, smart, not cheating, but..." - she pulled out a handkerchief and wiped from her cheek rolled a tear, "our homewrecker — computer. Every night I have to communicate with the back of her husband. "

Modern couples often become members of a kind of a love triangle – husband, wife and computer. Or in this age of advanced computer technology the norm, when the two hold each other in less time than in virtual reality?

on the one hand, the accelerating pace of life makes people to use modern technology, including computer. This saves time and shortens the distance between people. But on the other hand, they can alienate from each other, when the real world has been largely replaced by the virtual. What people find in the computer? If:
  • "24 hours" a day, then this place is workaholism, when all spheres of life overlap work. Like all other "isms" and "mania": alcoholism, gambling, toxicomania is usually adversely affects health and relationships with a partner. It is unlikely someone will like to systematically talk with the back of your spouse?

  • spending time on Dating sites, then the other partner should think about what he adds to your other half. When the other looks for communication in the computer, then we can talk about loss of interest to the real partner, the inability to show their feelings of insecurity. Wife it may even be regarded as a very real betrayal.

  • Game in stock market — usually is the satisfaction of the need for epinephrine (as the saying goes: sink or swim), similar to those people who participate in extreme sports.

  • Computer games - there is the opportunity to build the world that many can not build in my life; here, there are clearly defined rules, so we can talk about honesty; you can make a mistake and start over without condemnation (in reality, mistakes and failures "nagging" wife, scolds the chief, condemns society) the opportunity to receive encouragement and praise in the form of bonuses for accurate and proper actions, which usually does not wait in reality; and the opportunity to throw out the crushed emotions (often in men is aggression, not expressed in life, just as undeveloped sexuality attracts a woman to love the series)

speaking about the norm when using the computer, within the framework of each family is their own. It is determined by the partners themselves. Going beyond the norms determined by the first claim on the part of one partner (you don't spend any time with me, dumped me on the computer, sit behind him for hours, etc.). You can say the limit is exhausted. But if there is a "care" both spouses in the virtual world of "head", and in this claim are not presented, then you can talk about segregation, loss of interest to each other and to real life.

Kipor Elena, a practicing psychologist, head of the Center of practical psychology "New life" in the city of Krasnodar.

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