In their work often meet with people who are talking about their love for another person. But I often notice that in fact it is not about love for man and about depending on another person. "I love him so much, to live without her/him, can't we two halves of one whole", etc.
it would Seem we are talking about a strong and beautiful feeling of love from one person to another. But is it love? Or maybe it's an addiction? Moreover, who would say that true love is manifested in the dependence of one person from another. When I breathe them, I live them, there is no life without him/her, and that it was such and only such relationship is called love. Let's deal.
it is Important to understand that any ADDICTION (alcohol, nicotine, drugs, love) deprives a person of LIBERTY. To prove this statement let us remember that all people are dependent on oxygen. Our dependency on oxygen makes us not free to desire to be in that environment, and in the place where there is no oxygen (underwater, in space, etc.). A small child depends on the parent and that is why he is not free to make decisions and there is no freedom of choice. Reliance on the work robs us of our freedoms is willful to treat your time, etc. it Turns out that love is dependent manifestations, like any addiction, also imprisons.
I think that true love has nothing to do with addiction and true love does not!
to prove it I propose to begin to look at life with a drug addict or alcoholic and how his life. When the chemically dependent person has his favorite substance (drug, alcohol), then it is well and comfortable, he is happy and satisfied. But if a person gets into a situation where for some reason he can't use the substance, he falls into a state called abstinence syndrome (withdrawal, hangover). Manifested in the form of terrible physical discomfort, emotional low, depression, apathy, feelings of emptiness, etc. This condition occurs, since it depends on the substance.
now think and remember the man about whom you can say that you love him. It could be Your son, wife, mother, daughter, partner or father. Personally, I am remembering the people I love can to mention his wife, the mother of their children, close relatives. When they're near I'm happy, happy and of course very happy, as the same dependent who is happy because there is his favorite substance. The difference is that when I go to business trip for a long time and I have no way to be with loved ones, I have not comes the emotional break-up. I can bored, sad and desire to meet again, but I'm not depressed, I don't have apathy, I don't break and do not Kumar as a dependent of the person, i.e. withdrawal does not occur, because in real, true love does not. If you are in their thoughts and memories about how you feel when parting with a loved one found that you feel awful and it's very similar to the break-up, it is likely that you dependent upon man. This phenomenon is called co-dependency.
Codependency is a form of relationship building, resulting in a psychological fusion of one human being with another, a relationship in which there are no boundaries. But more on that next time...