the
 Jealousy - doubts about the loyalty and love. 

    Let's look at the formation of feelings of jealousy in men and women in the course of evolution, what aspects of its formation?
In the past the main functions of the women was the birth and upbringing of children, “possession of the hearth", housekeeping. Functions men it was the support of his family resources - housing, food, etc. On the basis of these duties formed the gender differences of jealousy,  for men important physical fidelity to a woman he wants to be sure that the woman is exactly his child, his genes ( DNA test, as we understand it, was not possible). After all, if a woman is pregnant, from the other it will ensure to invest efforts and resources on raising someone else's child and, importantly, it will not contribute to procreation. While, for women very important emotional attachment men, it is important to know that the man will be there to provide for her and their unborn child food and security, when its performance  is very low - during pregnancy, childbirth and baby care. For women, the infidelity of a partner can be fraught with loss of the paternal contribution or sharing with another one of his family wealth and resources, that produced the man.

In the modern world much has changed, the woman  became independent from men, there were various means of contraception, the DNA test. Given the changes in gender roles and life of the people, I will not share the zeal of the men and women. There are many classifications of jealousy, causes of jealousy include: a lack of love in childhood, low self esteem, excessive self esteem and a sense of superiority, previous negative experience,  increased anxiety, projection (if I may be wrong, and my partner too), temper, trust issues, the list goes on. 

will Try to share the feeling of jealousy in the normal and “not normal”,  where the basis of classification is psychological comfort.

  1. Objective  the rational cause of the jealousy.
    It could be flirting partner, lack of information about his pastime, you noticed secrecy, changes in behavior or attitude towards you, etc. to Resolved this problem needs a simple and peaceful conversation where you calmly ask your questions, and the partner calm answer. Such a conversation should not escalate into conflict, after all, if it brings discomfort to you or your partner, it falls into the category of NOT normal.

In this paragraph the problem may be that the reason for you seems quite rational, for example “he's already 2 minutes, did not return calls this morning and ironed shirt, and knew that he*Bel”. Therefore, it is important to consider 2 points.
Also might help rational questions “How well I know my partner?”, “It gave rise to distrust? he lied to me earlier?”, “he had time and opportunity for me to change?”, “ he has reason and motive to be incorrect?”, “ if he Cheated on his previous partners?”.

2.  the incidence of
If  the feeling of jealousy arises, for example once a week, you  or your partner is haunting and disturbing feeling of jealousy and unwarranted distrust of the partner - that is not normal. In any case, you will need to work with a specialist and it does not matter the problem of your increased anxiety, past negative and traumatic experiences, low self-esteem or real infidelity to your partner. Bottom line, this situation or this relationship bring you discomfort, it is NOT the norm and this problem needs to be solved.

  • literal expressions
    Adequate display of jealousy, perhaps, can be considered: the interview discussion  disturbing questions, doubts, suspicions, discussion of your feelings. If jealousy is manifested in Intrusive thoughts restless, in constant violation of personal space, which comes to surveillance, is turned into the scandal, abuse, assault and battery, as you know is NOT the norm.

to summarize, the main indicator is whether jealousy is the norm or NOT the norm will be - it causes discomfort to you or your partner. 

this text was not considered by the pathology of jealousy (delusional jealousy, maniacal, etc.) because these questions are outside my area of expertise.


2019-08-06
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