Medusa the pencil skirt. How to stop being afraid of the chief

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Friday. Large office clock ticking, counting the minutes.9:04. Exactly thirty seconds to open the door boss. It will be released, will find the eyes of Tanya and nod his head, inviting me to his office for a report within a week. Normal working time.

But not for Tanya. Every time she sees the boss, fear grips the throat with a noose, language becomes heavy and motionless. Under the watchful gaze of the instructor's words are confused, refusing to line up into sentences. Tanya hated herself for that fear. Leaving the office, she promises herself that next time will be sure to keep your hands to yourself. But the situation repeats itself.

the solution to this problem we have with the client is gone for more than six months. We found four reasons for her panic.

Reason 1. Dark room, or a traumatic experience from childhood

Tanya 5 years. She helps her mother serve Sunday dinner for the whole family. One awkward movement – and a crystal vase with cherry jam flying to the floor. Sweet sticky pools with slides of berries on the floor, dark red spatters on the furniture and mom's dress.

Tanya punishment locked in a close dark closet. It's a shame – she didn't know. Scary in the corner of something rustling. But her crying and the cry none of the household does not respond. The hours spent in a dark room, was not the first and not the last. The older Tanya became, the more were the reasons for punishment.



the Boss implicitly recalls Tanya's mother – because she, too, possesses absolute power. The memory of complete helplessness in the face of a punishing parent. Those memories intensify children's fears, turning a specialist into a frightened little girl.

Reason 2. Medusa in a pencil skirt, or the personal characteristics of the head

Maria G. only 35. But she already has a significant position in the company. Responsible, binding, and ambitious – she knows the value of career growth, and therefore do not stand on ceremony with his subordinates. Strict and demanding. Maria G. rarely raises her voice – her presence is enough to make the surrounding effaced.



Tanya hardens and grows cold under the hard, appraising look boss as she chastises smooth, brooked no argument voice. It seems that there is no chance to be at least something right. The slightest mistake and there will be no mercy. Maria G. knows her stuff: her job is to make subordinates every minute spent in the office, to benefit the employer. Fear is a good tool for this.

Reason 3. To be better, or the personal characteristics of the subordinate

Tanya used to be the best from childhood. First place in music at the final concert. Gold medal in school. Diploma in Plebanovka. To be lagging?! No! This is not about Tanya.

the Habit of always be on top, self esteem dependent on external achievements, the fear of making mistakes – an excellent breeding ground for insecurity and fear of leadership. After all, the chiefs can strike at the fragile self-esteem, not appreciating the work done. Subordinates with such personal characteristics, even under the most loyal leaders have a constant fear of making a mistake.

Reason 4. The error in the calculations, or a bad first experience with the boss

Tanya was appointed head of relations Department. The first week worked. Made and reviewed for errors report. the
first time in the office of Maria Gennadievna report for the week Tanya slightly worried, although checked more than once. The chief raises his eyes from the numbers and stared at the girl.

- Here is where you made a mistake.
- can Not be! – cold Tanya – I have watched several times.
- Your calculations are correct, but you haven't checked out the figures that gave you the employees – in the voice of Maria Gennadievna metal and look heavy, paralyzing, You didn't check, but it's your duty!

Tanya long to recover after the first reporting Friday. Error executing of the first instructions and the discontent of the head may generate further tension and fear when communicating. Especially if the head of the discontent expressed in a rigid form.

Kill the Gorgon, or how to stop being afraid of the chief

When Tanya saw what a cruel joke played habit to be always on top, she thought: is this a good habit. Remembering the frightened little girl locked in dark closet, she wept. With tears came out the fears, powerlessness to change things, anger at his parents for the injustice of punishment. Rose's determination to prevent such again.

After analysis of the causes of fear, Tanya decided to move into the next division. She's already eight months working under the supervision of another person. Friday morning no longer causes paralyzing fear. Only occasionally met with Maria G. in the corridor, Tanya reminisces about his experiences.

Our meeting with Tanya continue. Girl locked in the closet still takes up too much space in her soul. But increasingly, Tanya smiles, increasingly suggests that pleased with himself and what he's doing. Increasingly, instead of "must" and "should I" sounds: "I want", "like", "I love."

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Svetlana celestial
2018-02-27
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