Men's pain. Authorship, imbued with terapevticheskiy of life itself.



When the young, healthy, full of strength and tenderness  men go to war, their little children from terror, rage, despair and hopelessness run around the world hoping to find their Fathers.

They run for so long, until falling on the damp earth, full of silent, mute with pain, streams of frozen, petrified  tears and child, for all the little kids heart of love and hope. 

They lie so long, not realizing that frozen, night, that no one near there, they are like ear to the ground, listening to her hum, her threads her. 

 They strain all his soul, trying to hear the sounds that are coming from its very depths, to determine if any of them are relatives, if any of them are acquaintances. 

They intuitively come to the same places, they bow down to this Great Mother, asking her not eat if she is their Great earthly Fathers in its fury. 

They rejoice, having heard the answer, but at the same time despair, again there is no end to the search. 

Every day, they are exhausted to the edge, wander their little children's feet to warm the home. 

exhausted and fall asleep loosely, wandering between heaven and earth.

he dreams that somewhere on the very edge of the abyss lives a large giant. This big scary giant is actually hiding inside a small, very fragile heart. He never tell anyone of his shows. 

But every night, after a long  exhausting work at the precipice - it resets to some people and pulls out of others - 

he comes home, closes the large wooden door of his large wooden house, 

quietly, touching the floor only at the corners of its big hairy giant's fingers - looking around cautiously, 

do not infiltrated into his house, someone followed them from mortals - 

goes to his room and day 

thousands of years he does the same ritual - 

he slowly cuts off a piece of skin on the left breast, 

a gentle touch and trembling hands pulls out his little giant's heart and washes it with her tears. 

Cleans up until it will not go all the fumes, all the smoke, salt, pain, 

until it becomes smooth and pink, smooth and strong, 

while it is again filled with tears - the forces to fight another day....


Billy that night as usual after work, came into the bar. 

There sat all the same company, and almost every day, Bobby, Mitch, brad and his half-brother Tommy.

the Guys are already for some time been drinking, their voices flowed easily and naturally, alcohol in all here were relaxing.

Billy some time hesitated, wherever he wanted to sit down. 

to Join them, or sit down at a separate table and be alone. 

He looked around, near the window was a nice quiet table and he went there. 

Today was a change for Martha,  open a young girly, one of those who are just waiting for 18 to get out of the house. 

March was not that beautiful, she drew not this. 

Manila, March their free young the female energy which was very seductive smell.

He was not the child, but not female, large wide open blue eyes, small firm Breasts and she very cleverly made it is interesting to listen to all these men's drunken speech  about nothing and about everything at the same time. 

In General, well, that was this March.

Billy had ordered, as usual, a glass of Calvados and Apple fell into his thoughts.

Money again, no. It is the third year of living in this hell town, works almost endlessly and barely making ends meet. 

He changed once its caked in every cell of the shit on this new life not to make it again gradually turned into shit, but maybe a different texture.

He came then decided one day to start his life, if not first, then at the other end.

He left behind his small industrial town in the mountains, 

having made the decision to quit drugs, 

lassie - a woman from where he grew up the son, but he was no longer able to stay, because it seamlessly and quickly went to the bottom, dragging along all except Sean - their son. 

She could easily carry and it does not hurt,

but his mental development kept him near her, but far at the same time. 

no One's ever shown to the doctors, but everyone who for some time was standing next to him or tried to talk to him - 

his head came the word, something like schizophrenia or some other inexplicable from the course of things ending in “AI”.

Sean was in his wonderful serene attitude to the world, he could even, cold eyes for a very long time to look your partner directly in the soul, 

at the same time with fervor to tell the story of how the killer clan of Galibardy kill dragons flowing thick blood dragon, fall out, roll in the eyeballs, and in their place formed a huge black abyss...

But the last dragon has always survived. The stories of Sean - the last, no matter how broken a dragon he was- he always survived.

He could survive without eyes, without body, riddled with soul and chest, but he survived. 

I was lonely, without end wondered why he wanted this life, but continued to live on.

there were days when Sean in his mercy allowed this last dragon to get a dog or pig offspring. 

Sean did a protracted pause, apparently to prepare the interlocutor for the unusual, the unexpected. 

And then altered voice told me how one eyed or without testicles, the dragon has decided to adopt a dog or pig children. 

he himself is always touching so that he was even a little choked.

Billy was in love with Shawn. He never he never spoke about it and still he wonder why his mouth and tongue it so hard to turn, or rather, never turned to tell the little father of the Dragons that he loves him. 

To Sean certainly knew that his father loves him. 

Billy felt a pang of disgust. His glass was empty, he did not even have time nice to feel that Apple swipes of the Normans. 

Waves of disgust washed over him and he was slowly drowning in them, trying to hold on to the memories.

In memory through almost vomiting, his own father, still young, but already retired Colonel. 

Billy remembered how his father came tired from work, 

which came to an end - dad was waiting to get fired -  and physically, foot roughly kicked away little Billy from himself, 

steel, but broken voice saying - “back off, bitch”.

Billy was crying and climbed again and again.

unable to bear, the father, who had already managed to knock back a few shots, was able to grab him by the collar and carry you into his room, closing the key, 

and then sit down with one another, his part, leaning against the door and start to cry. 

they were drunk and at the same time the bitter male tears of loss, inevitability, despair and anger at himself for failure, for void, inferiority, contempt.

Billy was waiting for this moment. He crawled to the door on the side and leaning against her, felt his father's breath, wheezing as his chest, his heart beat. 

It was a real, not invented, though, and such, but one of two that belongs only to them intimacy. 

It was one of the favorite moments of life Billy when she and my dad would like this, 

though each side, to sit leaning against opposite sides of a door, but through it to each other. 

Billy is also in these moments was crying. 

He did it quietly, in order not to offend the father.

He loved. 

He was crying, because I felt the love. He believed in these moments that the father loves him, too.

Two tearful men could sit for a long time, almost until morning. can't sleep, so, tired of themselves and this life. 

Nobody was in a hurry to go to bed on the right, as in many homes. They were all the same, they lived as best they could, they still nobody saw and nobody seemed to care for them. 

Women in this house have not been. Billy's Mother is long gone to another man, went with him to another continent, for koalas.

If someone walked into the house and saw their body lying dormant and at the door at the different side of it, maybe he would be surprised, but after a moment I could find myself crying  indefinitely. 

wonder - a large empty house and as a small, unusual not in his place, love.

(C)Alena Shvets. Copying with attribution.

photos from Internet

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