Message 13. The money issue


This essay is in addition to the cycle about the parent message.
This topic has arisen from the message "Not successful", as it is a special case. Although there may be "involved" is not the only one this message.
the Message is "don't be important", "don't be yourself" — is also directly affected.

Today we will talk about plants that people makes parental family in relation to money. In other words — the messages that it accepts, and then embodies in his life.

there is some General wording, such as "do not have money", "don't be worthy of money" or "earn money".
the point is that the person those or other problems with the money.

the Person can't earn enough money
is Not happy with the amount of money that he has
Not getting pleasure from money
Afraid to spend money on something nice.
Not feeling worthy of the money
are Afraid to get money
are Afraid to articulate the value of their work.
Experiencing various anxieties and fears for cash

Installation about money often are copied from the parent family
is it Possible to make money or not (not if it can be something hard and difficult)
How can earn money (quite a bit)
How to earn money (only hard work)
What is money (problems, trouble, and risk)
Who is a rich man (the thief, the swindler, the scoundrel)
if I am Worthy of money (of course not)
How to manage money (to keep, to save, to protect)
how to spend the money and what not to spend (only on business, for pleasure you can not)
Have the right to spend money themselves (of course not, because you can do without it)
Money threat (attack and take away anyway)
Earned money — lost relations
earn money was owe everything
is it Possible to take money for their work
Ashamed to name the price for their work
How many you can name and how much there is

How are these settings:
— speak it out loud
— to show by their personal example, actions,
— respond to child (to approve or not approve its manifestations)

the Child concludes,
that money is a problem. Make them impossible. If earned — at risk of losing relationships with loved ones. If you spend for useful. And generally it is better to stay away from the money. Name a price for their work is a shame. And General want of money — a shame. Money is not and never will be.

Thus, the child creates for himself (often unconsciously)
Position beliefs — a certain attitude toward money, to the process of their earning to those who earn them. And to himself in the context of money (may worthy)
Life strategies — how to interact with money. Methods, knowledge, skills — as did the family.

Example 1. Money is not and never will
a friend of mine, owner of a small business (here is an example with his permission) often complained that there is no money. Take a vacation — no matter what. Car upgrade — no matter what.
When I told him "why don't you consider the option to earn it?" it can be seen that it can sometimes be confusing.
"Money? Like this?? There is a certain monetary threshold, and through it to cross it. Above the head can not jump. As it is — so be it, to do this I can do nothing" (this is a collective phrase of the puzzle pieces, we discussed it with him)
This installation came from the parent of the family, always have money. A version of "money", if it happens, it quite a bit.
in addition to this, a person is not clear on the level of life strategies — exactly what to do.

Example 2. Do not live lavishly, nothing to start
Another friend of mine, she's a freelancer, takes private orders from customers. And one employer during the crisis offered to increase her pay (to count rate of the ruble).
Instead of happy to agree — she began to refuse. No, you pay me a lot, it's unnecessary now times are tough.
Here you can talk about the fact that she doesn't feel worthy of big money than it is now, does not take his time and labor as a value.

Example 3 If I get some — everyone will be asking me for a loan
My client (the example with permission) start your own business. And when we worked with the theme of money, out of fear of "if I earn more, all the relatives will start to ask me for a loan, and I will not be able to refuse." And she unconsciously was blocking development of the business, not to be in this difficult situation.

Relationship to money is largely due to the socialist past:
towards the private entrepreneurs under socialism
very real monetary ceiling above which no rise of the common man.
Crises and losses (when the money massively burned in the banks, inflation, denomination)
Habit to rely on external forces, not on their activity.

today the actual situation has changed, and there are a lot more opportunities on the part of earning money. But old attitudes and taboos often continue to operate.

What parents
Pay attention to your own attitude to money
Notice that you encourage the child (initiative, predpriimchivosti)
to Encourage the teenager to work, to earn some money — if possible.

What you can do on your own.
to Communicate with people, whose attitude to money You like — that the unconscious could replicate their installation about money
Look at my family — from whom You could take that attitude toward money that's stopping You
to Formulate a new installation about the money, and to consolidate their actions in practice (there will have to go through your own resistance, this will not always be easy).
— to Spend the money on something nice and useless
— Voice is the higher cost of their work
— to Deny a man, who once again wants to borrow money, while trying not to make excuses

Working with messages
"not be significant" — I don't deserve money
"don't be yourself" with me it is not so, I have almost everything to fix it, so was the money.
"bring it on" — money is at risk, they should be avoided
"don't be a baby" — afford to spend money for pleasure
"never grow up" — to learn to be responsible, to make decisions
to Build their own value — I am valuable, I am worthy of money, my work is worthy of payment
to Develop the border not to feel all obliged to
learn to cope with fears and anxieties about money
Work out the situation on the subject of money, if any, loss of money, trouble for money.
If you want to increase revenue — to find the meanings of why and what does it do, what will change in ourselves, what will change in my life.
to Formulate and consolidate new attitudes and beliefs on the topic money
to Create a new life strategy for dealing with the money — how and what exactly to do.

I Invite you to discuss in the comments if you have questions, ask!

Kraynova Veronica
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