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Errors in the relationship: the methods of solving them.


Each of us makes mistakes, this does not go away, but it is important to know that there are those who contribute more to the relationship.

I suggest you learn about the most typical mistakes we can make.

Perhaps in some of them you recognize yourself – this is good, as you realize your mistakes, and you have the choice to change things for the better.


1. Search your ideal.

Many people (especially women) believe that they can change their partner is like only a matter of time. They often say "Change for me, you have to do it, well, at least a little bit." Or more directly: "When you finally will be so-and-so!"

Yes, for your partner is “a little” not so little. It's part of their personality, of their existence. Well, if they are trying to change themselves for you, it is likely they will feel resentment towards you, and you may receive a feeling some not so defective.

Trying to change your partner will result in the fact that he won't feel all your love. Admit it - you want to make a loved one of someone to meet their needs. Maybe better to start with yourself?


2. Unmet expectations.

the position of the first is: "Since we live together, you should know what I want. I wait and wait, when you do, you're not doing."

Second, not expecting such an attack, responds with aggression.

it Turns out that the partner he should know your needs, read your mind without your request. But without trust and revelation, the relationship can evolve? No communication — no way.

the Skill of communication is very important in a relationship that needs to develop.

Voice partner your wishes and requests - he's not a mind reader and may fail to guess what you was expected of him wanted. Why do you need to bear something in head in silence, waiting for what(s) he will guess, and then be offended?


3. the Belief that all your requests partner should say "Yes."

you Should know that your partner does not live to satisfy all your needs. If he said no, that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Agree, not all your requests can be executed.

“Make you happy” is not his task. It also has its needs and it is good to have the opportunity to grow to grow with you. His task is to share your life with you.

You should know that happiness is the inner sense of self and to make ourselves happy only you can. And when you are happy, and those around you close, feel it and charged you with this energy.

Because love is based on communication, respect and giving (from the words “give”, “to devote”, “to sacrifice”). First of all, learn to be happy with yourself before someone can make you happy.

4. Underestimating the importance of the partner.

many people Have the habit of not noticing what made partner, and notice that I do: "I do everything, and you for me nothing."

Learn to appreciate the partner. Everybody is pleased to hear: "I appreciate you for what you are. I appreciate what you do for me."

Pay attention to what makes your loved one, even if it is in your opinion some kind of change. Because the glass is not only half empty, but full?!

5. The inability to say no.

loved ones often manipulate people who are afraid to refuse and is already used, you never fail. But what is behind the fear to deny the request? – Often the fear of losing the love of another person.

This leads to hard feelings (I use). It turns out: "can't say no, can't do this either". Accumulate made no promises.

the Output is: it is to learn to say no so as not to offend people. It's a skill that you must acquire.

We say "Yes" of the individual partner and no to his request. Example: "Yes, I do appreciate you and understand (you're important and valuable to me), and I am now unable (or unwilling) to do what you asked (your expectations)".

6. I'm not good enough(a) for him/her.

Feeling not good enough(Oh) leads to the fact that people think should be perfect, and everyone should see and tell without words, have to do everything perfectly to be loved.

They sure do not know how to build relationships. Often fear that their partner will leave them, when they realize that(s) he is not able to stay in the relationship.

As a rule, in such situations, people provoke parting willingly or not willingly,
Finding the error in their actions and voicing their partner, they harm relationships, often unconsciously.

the Truth is that it is almost impossible to earn someone's love. Attempting to earn love will only harm your sense of self.

it Is understood that you deserve to be loved, being who I am. If you accept yourself such what you are – your partner will respond in kind.

no One is immune from mistakes, and that's fine. Because the relationship is part of life, our school, where we go through the lessons.

it is Important to realize and accept your own contribution to the relationship.

Ask yourself: "what can I do to improve relations with a close friend?" And you will find the answers they are within you!

good Luck!

2012-12-17
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