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Today I work a lot with families, and also very carefully watching the relationship when talking with married couples in an informal setting and often hear the bitter revelation of wives about their husbands: "No initiative, until you tell me what to do, do not move, all necessary to keep the hand, to say, what to send...". And this is indeed a sad truth many families.

And I thought, but the story begins much earlier, from the relationship of a mother with her young son. If the mother and the son were two very important stages-first the merger (when they are one, when the mother is there when they do everything together), and then separation-separation, when mother helps you to grow, encourages independence, risk taking responsibility to do yourself, even clumsily, awkwardly, but from beginning to end yourself. When mother helps, if the son asks for help, and let go, allows you to follow through. When mom believes in the success of the son. When he sees and acknowledges the result.
Sadly, when there is faith in the son, that he can, and there is a lot of criticism of him and his actions (hands not from that place,it is easier to do...)
of Course, easier to do yourself, who would doubt, but then over time, the son will take the decision that "everything is useless, not worth starting" and later, of course, take these decisions on the relationship with his wife.

his Wife, most often, though, and toil, and struggle, and they do not like such a position of men, but often take on maternity wear, baton-to think and do for him, instead of him. Because they have their Affairs million, and to grow from a large boy into a man is difficult.

And you learn to live as though exists and dissatisfaction growing, but the kids appeared and "we got used to each other" ( sing Rosenbaum). The woman only from time to time sighs sadly :"I Have two children-a baby and a husband."

So. I want to appeal to moms. To the mothers of the younger sons.
it would also be Good from time to time to ask yourself the question: "How do I want to see my son when he grows up? And what am I to do this right now?"
And it would be good to check with yourself: "My actions now in relation to the son and help him become stronger independently? I help him to take responsibility, show initiative, set goals and achieve them?"
Let little. After all, everything starts small. The goal will be to grow together with my son.

I, as a mom, frankly, that made a lot of mistakes in relation to his son. Now it is quite adult and I'm not directly able to influence him, but if at the time when he was growing up, there was someone who told me this information when I purchaes, trying to raise him, being the most completely NUTRISYSTEM, he would have been much easier to live with, and I'm in his memoirs about the time when growing up my son, would have been much more satisfied a mother.

And yet, on this occasion, I want to ask you, dear couples!
with all my heart I invite each pair to unmet courage to acknowledge their dissatisfaction and to seek help from a specialist. This will help you see new opportunities and to build, if you like, a new system of relationships. Yeah, I know, it's scary and it seems shameful,like we ourselves can't handle, but it is much more difficult to remain a frustration for many, many years and pass it with inheritance to their children. After all, they have to learn.


2019-01-21
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