Quite often from customers in the course of psychoanalytic psychotherapy comes to the surface experience of the phenomenon of death, which is decisive in the formation of neurosis.
People are born to die and every one of us sooner or later confronted with the death of loved ones.
Adults anxious for their children in situations where the last witness of the death of the grandparents, sometimes one of the parents. In an effort to protect their children from experiences, they are trying to evade questions on this subject, and lead them as far away from the deathbed.
taking Care of his child calm, parents can be far from the real picture of what is happening in his soul. The child is not a doll, he feels and hears everything that happens around, much more than you can imagine, even if located in another room or busy with something.
He sees that his loved ones is something unusual: they're crying, upset and depressed. The child appears a total lack of understanding of what is happening. Yesterday he talked to my grandmother and today crying over it, and even taken away somewhere, making it impossible to say goodbye to your favorite person.
unlike adults, children are not afraid of death, but puzzling and encourages questioning. The phenomenon of death does not cause them frightening associations, characteristic of the adult mind. I would even say that besides the misunderstanding of what is happening nothing touches it in this situation. However, the misunderstanding can cause them severe anxiety.
Try to imagine yourself in the place of the child: suddenly, at some point, changing the rhythm of life around loved ones suffering and no one says anything or they say something that does not match the actual state of Affairs (e.g. that the grandmother taken away, but she'll be back soon, etc.). What would he do with a private Apocalypse as a result of misunderstanding? An eerie and all-encompassing feeling fills his whole being. And the most unfavorable in the behavior of the adults around him are attempts to distract the child from leading questions, switching to something that would amuse him.
Often this becomes a cause of deep neurotic problems in the future.
the Psychoanalytic experience with neurotic shows that children not only possible but even necessary to talk about death and the loss of a loved, not to hide their feelings, not to hide the truth from him, to allow them to approach the deceased, not to take the opportunity to say good-bye.
Despite the heavy emotional state of the adults, the child it is important to live this experience, not to become a hostage of her own anxieties, destructive and depressing of his life.