"Drug" co-dependent – a particular person or a certain type of people. As a rule – Dependent, meaning not independent, clinging to others, looking for support outside of yourself, in the other. For such have formed an unhealthy co-dependent, the pain of addiction under the guise of "I can't live without you". In a relationship, he require, blackmails, but not love.
"You ceased not to be in love and cheat, and you suffer as if you fell out of love."
Creating the illusion of love, becomes Codependent manipulative neurotic. All the steps it is painted, well thought out, it sure keeps the situation under control. I think it's not malice, it's from the painful need, the need to be loved, needed, indispensable.
Your logic he is building so that the desire to be loved transformirovalsya in the need to be needed. He tries to become a necessity in the life of another, it provides grants, meets the needs,... Like a fisherman, enveloped in a network of their worries.
Then, begins his petty blackmail, trying to invoke pity for myself. It's a pity she's a lot like love – "I do everything, this and that... I love you so much and you..." Along with the shame comes the sense of guilt, like you should and your debt is increasing and not decreasing. In such a relationship becomes impossible to breathe and I can't wait to throw this "network" to get out of them. Pity forces no longer remains. And then, when pity ends, comes the hatred. Hate is love inside out. And when it ends and hate, blackmail becomes rude and aggressive, he seeks to cause fear, he wants to be feared. Fear for him – the only replacement for love, which he never reached.
to recover from codependency, you need to get rid of, to leave any addiction. A way out of dependence may be vzaimozavisimost, independence or samouverenost.