This article is the explanation of the two postulates which cause the most misunderstanding or distorted in practical application, but both of them are very important in quality implementation of their psychological needs. On the practice of "no One owes nothing to" told in the eponymous article, exactly how to tell about motivation "Do everything in this life for yourself".

Why and what will be useful in the practice of interaction with the world postulate-no one owes nothing? Most of the conflicts in communication between people is based on her unfulfilled expectations to the person through which you plan to implement your needs. You then decide something that important you can read your thoughts and therefore knows everything about your desires and needs, knows all about your secret dreams and just have to implement them, in order to please you, because you are significant to him. It is a myth of your mind and nothing more.

a woman: "Today, the house again will be a scandal." My question is "what are the conditions for it to happen?" The woman, a heavy sigh: "Today is 18 years since we met. I really want my husband remembered and bought me a huge bouquet of tea roses, like on our first date. But he won't do that, because it is unlikely that he will remember about today. of course that night I came home he will find a beautifully laid table, fancy me...unhappy. and will react as usual-the best defense-attack. And then I tell him what I think about his inattention to my address" To my question "Maybe it makes sense to hint to my husband about today's date, to remind him, taking and congratulating him SMS with warm words and give him the opportunity to make the evening joyful for both of you?" The woman is outraged: "That's why I have to remind him?? Why do I remind him of this day all these years, and he doesn't remember?? Why is it hard to guess that I want a bouquet of those roses? Maybe after tonight he will remember?" My questions: "So who wants a bouquet of roses? How did the husband know of your desire? Should we quarrel with a loved on this day? By the way what kind of gift he would like to get from you?" the woman is silent..

I described the Situation is unfortunately very typical in the relationships of many couples. Expectations in the partner's address you store inside yourself is the most important secret, not voicing it to your partner, in most cases, will lead to your misery, to fight, to conflict. WHY would you want them???

it is Worth remembering the second postulatedo everything in this life for yourself, which means having your motivation in implementing their own psychological needs. Back to the woman, expecting a bouquet of roses from her husband on the anniversary of Dating. If she wants the evening to continue in the atmosphere of the holiday-it should connect to for their needs, but are not limited to dinner and sit with him in the ambush waiting for her husband to come home. There is a sense in advance to prepare a surprise for my husband, which he finds at home in the morning, not go to work, because you want to please your loved one?)) Or is there a need to only consume from the world? Husband. start your day with the joy given by you, will be inspired by your sincere actions and he wants to prolong this state of joy, and to include you-he wants to give you what pleases you) it still makes sense to hint to him to help in choosing a gift for you, such as voicing a phrase" I remember the beautiful bouquet of roses, you gave me some..mmm they were long they stood in my room and I was happy for them every day..they would now really would decorate our bedroom.." )) 'm Sure the man can hear in your words your desire)) Why create artificially the suffering when you can beautifully implement your needs???? rhetorical question)))

when it comes to relationships are less simple to learn and use. Let us now consider the situation of interaction between two strangers on the interaction on this site under the two postulates articulated in the subject)

I Propose to consider the situation. which is unfortunately typical for this site. Put the material from Internet in the blog, I don't need it as additional material for the article. Guest site, intrigued by the material, decides to implement their needs through me, completely forgetting what needs it, and that I did nothing to her needs) She writes a comment that (later fixed) that do not contain address of the address :"And perhaps you can tell me what that means --" Answer: "I wonder how you request, even not clear to whom(((" Get: "Your response felt a reproach in an unpleasant way for You to ask... even Though it was not a request, and the offer to participate in the process of understanding" Try to explain: "There are my words of rebuke, there is a lack of understanding of such interaction with the world. If you wish to you someone something told,then at least it would be appropriate to address so that the person was interested to participate in your understanding - because it is yours))" Guest: "It was interesting to take part) otherwise I would not have participated so actively did not respond)" That is, without me , I was married-decided for me that I wonder)) the Answer is: "No interest for me in this interaction., I have shown only human respect.I have self-esteem
if I want to receive from whom support or I have to man the request, I first named contact the person, second, articulate your request and Yes do use the word please))Here is where you decide that someone needs help to understand or that someone is interested in your request, which turns out to be not requests at all?) Get the final answer: "the Conversation in the middle of nowhere) Thanks for Your work, dear psychologist!" The guest didn't hear me unfortunately.

This format of interaction can often be seen not only under the articles, but also on the forum. The people are nice, remember you are owed nothing and if you have some particular need, which can help you realize a particular person, remember. that your need, and it does not contain interest, from whom you are waiting for her. Therefore, it is completely appropriate, if you show respect for the man. turn his interest in the realization of your desires or finding the answer to your question, elementary addressing by name to the person and using the word "please"))) And if you show yourself and your real involvement in decision interesting question-I'm sure people will be happy to join in the realization of your needs, at least I can say for myself-happy to lead such dialogues.

to sum up) Your psychological demandof yours and YOURS alone, no one ever will you implement them if you take the position of demandtion of the world. Realize your needs beautiful!!!

Cozy and warm last days of winter!!

I would be glad if my articles, you will be useful in the practice of your life!

Thank you for your "thank you", you say" pressing the button "thank you" )

Tatiana Savenko
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