"nobody loves Me and will never love you" 😭

With this query I am often approached women, men. They think that their need for love, care and attention will never be satisfied. They believe that there will always be lonely, no one hears, understands, and generally full of "a feeling of emptiness and loneliness." Do you know these people? Then put "like" and read on. 💕

In the case of my clients we are talking about another early non-adaptive scheme (remember the post about the suppression of emotion?) – emotional deprivation. This is one of the most common and, at the same time least explicit non-adaptive schemes. ❄

most Often, this schema formed in early childhood when the child has not yet learned to talk. Is formed at the level of sensations and feelings. Does the baby feel lonely, and this feeling accompanies him all his life. 👶

what is the "emotional deprivation" among adults:

🚩 - they need much more love than they give their partners and friends, but they are silent on this;

🚩 they think that nobody understands them and supports;

🚩 - most often they choose for a relationship "cold" people incapable of showing love;

🚩 - they crave love, but don't allow others to love yourself fully.

Their relationship is often built on the same pattern: those partners who are showing them strong feelings, quickly become uninteresting. And attract only incapable of feelings, withdrawn or toxic partners who are forced to suffer and suffer. ☃

What are emotions inherent in the people schema emotional deprivation:

1. the feeling of loneliness;

2. longing;

3. sadness;

4. anger.

These emotions are very painful. The man has several options to interact with them:

🔻 - to endure and to continue to build relationships with inappropriate partners (a capitulation to the scheme);

🔻 - to demand from the partner the love and attention (overcompensation);

🔻 to avoid any relationship (avoidance).

In the next post I will talk about the causes of this scheme and about effective methods of therapy. But in the meantime tell us in the comments – are you familiar with the schema of emotional deprivation? ❓

Oleg Korsak
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