the New Year is a time of miracles and magic, festive mood. Yes, of course, the older we get, the less of it waiting for something "such". Every year time shrinks more and more, and this holiday ceases to be so long-awaited: too soon passed another year, and too many are already behind met "24-00 31.12", too much hassle with planning, gifts, holiday table.
But at heart we are all children, and the expectation of magic still resides in each of us. And we can try to make this day special, for example, for our children. And seeing their joy and delight, happy to experience these feelings along with them, remembering your own happy moments.
Yes... But I promised that the article would be unhappy. Well, no sooner said than done.
Start with yourself, in order to avoid this, you know, experience that like the author describes someone as if from a height, with the expert's position (although in science, of course, is this approach, and we should probably do). As, for example, the entomologist describes any regular hitherto unexplored flies.
Or spiders. Or even some less pleasant "animals."
I have had a chance to celebrate the New Year (see, I always write this phrase with a capital letter for every word – because I love and respect this holiday) alone.
due To different circumstances. One day – "very deliberately". I was wondering what it's like to celebrate the New Year alone.
Met. Nothing special, but nothing terrible.
But that was a long time ago. I was still in high school.
once a close person with whom I planned to meet, was in the hospital. I bought everything needed and prepared some salads and hot. Bought cake. Part of this he ate, the piece Packed and brought to the hospital. He ate and was very happy. Because the background of the food which was given in the hospital, my treat, of course, was just after the king's meal. I felt the same way. So how could he die, but not dead. And instead of the funeral was that very modest, but still festive dinner.
However, a New Year, I met one.
hmmm... But that was long ago.
again I felt that in the New Year alone is something special or terrible.
But since then it's been a while. And in that time happened a lot of different events that contributed – not afraid of the word – qualitative changes my perception of life. For example, panic disorder, based on the "total," the cruel, devastating loneliness. Or the loss of friends: sometimes it was moving to another city, sometimes betrayal, sometimes death. Separation, loss, disappointment, frustration, age-related crises.
And now I'm good (probably) understand the nuances of loneliness. And I wouldn't want to celebrate the New Year alone. Though can. And not be destroyed.
But he would not.
I wrote all this not only to share their life episodes, but in order to, as mentioned above, to make it clear that I have my own experience with loneliness. I experienced this feeling and worry sometimes now. So talking about it is not detached, not "rising above".
And here the New Year? And in what article?
the fact that a single person (not the one who lives alone, and the one who feels alone; often these things go together, but not always) most acutely feels unhappy when he sees others ' happiness.
Markovity must be the subject, right? Once he is unhappy, happy when others then seem to really should work.
Such an assumption may come to mind, but, in fact, does not necessarily have to be that way. Let these people really don't like to see others happy, but if you have something bad happen – you can count on their support. This is true not for all the described people, but I'm sure for most. So, to call them unambiguously "bad" yet, it seems, would be wrong.
They rejoice in the bad weather. Rain, snow, frost. Because when they see that people hate they become... No, not good. They're really not villains any. It just becomes easier.
Because they believe that happiness is unattainable for them. And every time I see someone's happy, someone's happy, you hear someone's genuine laughter, hurt get hurt. As a wheelchair user, looking for healthy young enthusiasts, running in the Park.
And someone's misfortune gives them to understand that there are those who are going through something similar with their feelings.
– Wait! Like, we talked about loneliness. Now about happiness and ravennati. Something you're in a heap of mixed! – probably, someone from readers appeared in this place here's a thought.
I'll Try to explain what I mean, when you combine in one article of these phenomena.
So, the loneliness and the feeling body to... How to say? "Misery"? "The unhappiness I was experiencing"? "Neschastnoi" – no such word. "Unhappiness" is not suitable. But I think you get my point.
a Feeling of lack of happiness and loneliness go hand in hand.
And what does the New Year?
despite the fact that at this time most people, like it or not, you feel a surge of good mood (not least because what lies ahead is a weekend), around the holiday bustle and cheerful music. A lonely and unhappy man feels acutely the loneliness and... neschastnoi. Let it be so.
the Last few questions and answers.
– What to do about such people?
In the long run, in my opinion, of course, to go to a psychologist. To suffer year after year.
Now? Now you can just compress stronger teeth and endure, consoling himself with the thought: "Nothing, soon the holidays will be over, and those who long rested, faced with all this emotional gesture that people experience, released after a long holiday to work." I'm not kidding. It really can help.
– Why write in such a good, positive period (it is not so much the person) such a sad article?
Well, I hope it was not very sad. This is the first. And secondly, I wanted those who feels unhappy and lonely in the new year holidays, understand that they are not alone. There are people who get it.
I Want to believe that succeeded.
Подробнее об источнике