Love is the setting, the orientation of character which determines the relation of man to the world as a whole and not to a specific "object" of love. If I can tell someone "I love you", I should be able to say "I love you all, through you I love the whole world, I love you and myself too". A love for life.
Erich Fromm "Art of loving"
the Ability to love the same ability to dance, sing or draw. This ability develops and trains the forces of the soul.
As a child who grew up in a deficit of love, from childhood I learned about this truth that "love is a finite resource, it needs to be protected, not wasted on anybody." The process of psychotherapy due to the warm, caring, accepting and loving attitude to me therapist happened like my "unfreezing", of all my senses and capabilities. I first felt what it feels like to love you when you're important...and thawed... believe it happens for a reason. It was impossible not to believe her. However, I have struggled long and hard to resist everything!)) And it was hard to believe won't follow those claims, demands, incomprehensible grievances, expectations and other manipulations. And did not believe that it will not have to pay dearly. It turns out that you can just enjoy! You can just take what you can get. Just allow yourself to love, to let Another close to him.
was Constantly questioning: "what is it that you love?", "What in me?" It is so important to know, to strengthen, to develop these qualities, to become better and more decent... But every time I have not received a response. It baffled. Indeed, in my picture of the world is absolutely clear: there are good and bad, is welcome and desired behavior and are unacceptable. When compliant with the rules of the game to favor you dear you people screwed up – accept the consequences, you reject and condemn.
And the capacity to love appears with this magical experience, the experience of self-love. Ideally, this experience gives the first and the most important people in everyone's life – mom. She loves unconditionally, simply for the fact that you're her child. Next on the horizon appears a dad, but with their conditions and terms and what is good and what is bad. But this is the ideal. Where mom was learning to love, when she herself never loved when she was so desperate to earn the love my grandmother, even being already a pensioner? But alas, to no avail... This heritage was not higher at least several generations. Sad about this story. How much pain and despair unloved children... And how desperately they are willing to put your whole life at the feet of the parents in the hope of ever being accepted. How vain their Herculean efforts.
And slowly, drop by drop, there was a process of "defrost". Even bodily sensations that something was growing warmer inside, in the solar plexus. Quietly and quite unexpectedly there was a need to share that warmth and love. Really wanted someone to take care of. Just. The need to give. It's so amazing. Unusual. Weird. Barely fit in the head. But I was able to spread warmth through the body. This maternal need I realized with a puppy! Long got the idea for this was anxiety – I never had no dogs and consequently experience with them, and it's such a big responsibility! But the more time passed the more I wanted Seneca. I even knew a girl Labradors chocolate color. Apparently, as close as possible externally to the hostess for ease of projection of her inner calf.
And the moment came when I became confident in his desire and made a decision to get a puppy, despite all the "cons". And there were not enough. At that time I was not working, but clearly understand how expensive it is to have a large purebred dog. Besides, for a long time suffered from depression, no matter what, and to go out and focus on something was generally on the brink of possibilities. Expected, how much time will pick up puppy games, cleaning, training, walking several hours a day. Yes, and the husband, seeing the seriousness of my intentions, gave me an ultimatum: "Get a puppy – we disagree". So I got my favorite labradore Roxy! 32 kilograms of chocolate happiness!!! The best motivator and Energizer! It was pretty intuitive and impulsive decision. But it was the most proper for yet my whole life!)
I remember going to personal therapy and in wild enthusiasm shared that resource of love does not end, when to use it, and is increasing exponentially!!! The more I love my dog and give her, the more my forces, heat, energy! The greater the need to love and to give! The magic lasted) It was a discovery of a lifetime! Over time, there is a feeling that can love everyone. To understand, to empathize, to warm. This was the main resource with which I came into the profession of psychotherapist. This resource with each new client and each new story is multiplied, it becomes more, gives strength, helps to make sense of life, gives a sense of fullness and satisfaction from work. No words could Express the gratitude for the love and warmth of my therapist. Write through the tears. Thank you for being in my life!