On the platform running man with a suitcase and shouts.

asked Him: "What are you shouting?" "I missed the train by two minutes!!!" "And scream like two hours late".

the anecdote is an example of depreciation. And one of the most ridiculous ways to help people cope with feelings.

Message: Your problem is severe, your feelings are overly dramatic.

Depreciation - the path to conflict. devalues These messages are in sharp contradiction with the condition of a man who is just going through because it happened is important. As these messages are easily transferred to themselves, and are heard as "you're not important (with their feelings"). But people are usually important for yourself, with all your experiences, especially acute.

If you see white and you say black, it causes confusion, surprise, anxiety, and irritation (with confidence) to prove that it's white. This is how any judgment that is contrary to yours. Approval face, and the tension increases, this conflict.

the Depreciation of your experiences and the significance of the situation causes conflict stress. It can be destructive for a relationship.

During an argument, many couples fall into this trap. Although the conflict on some topic is called, in the best case, lead to the resolution of conflicts, if one partner devalues the experience of the other (what are you so worried, it's not a problem), the argument can easily moves on the rails "you don't care about how I feel" and "you don't want to understand me", and it's taking a couple from the original topic on which you need to resolve the conflict.

If your feelings and your perception of the situation devalue and you plan to continue communication, you need to learn to notice the depreciation and distinguish it from others in conflict. To understand that is a separate issue.

a Basic phrase for the reaction to the depreciation of the can be (said without charge, from the perspective of the observer)

"I see that our understanding of the situation is different. I understand that for you it looks less significant than it is for me. And for me it is now very important."

If you're careful, respectful and persistent, gradually you will begin to hear, and the situation will improve.

There is another aspect of depreciation.

Depreciation is a tool of manipulation. If you long and convincingly prove that you are always exaggerating the significance of situations and your feelings are usually too dramatic, and it's not one or two cases, and occurs regularly, chances are you will start to doubt their adequacy. This will reduce the overall resilience of the psyche, and self in particular.

In this case, the depreciation of the ridiculous attempts to support a person or a bad argument in the debate turns into a powerful tool of undermining confidence, and if you feel that way towards yourself, immediately take action.

Make a diary entry that's going to save in case your perception will change under the influence of the systematic depreciation. Looking for competent support. Read on "emotional abuse". Consult with a psychologist. Be ready to protect yourself.

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