the Parents of hyperactive children are difficult from all sides they are under pressure and feel no guilt.
meanwhile, in children with hyperactivity disorder and attention has number of features, which parents just need to know and consider. (Teachers don't mention them, as a rule, nothing to do with the individual characteristics of children, and certainly no desire to mess with that - they have to do too much work and too little salary).
What kind of features?
1. Often these children are diagnosed with so-called minimal brain dysfunction which causes the problem with self-control. The child is unable to control his behavior due to these minimal disruptions of the brain. I repeat - is not able(!), and NOT does not want to, stubborn, damaged, etc.
it is difficult to hold the attention - it leads to the fact that it is more likely than other children to be distracted in the classroom. For the same reason he adheres to the rules of conduct, looks naughty. He is IMPULSIVE, which often looks and erroneously interpreted as increased aggression.
2. As explained by neurologists that the nervous system of such children (and adults) are paradoxical: if human fatigue is slowing down, becoming sluggish and sleepy, hyperactive fatigue react disinhibition. Plus, they have increased reactivity, which leads to additional energy consumption - the more stimuli, the faster these children get tired.
remember that if the child begins to indulge and uninhibited - he's tired, although it looks like he has nowhere to put the energy. Therefore, he needs to provide absolute peace - at least for a while. By the way, in some Western countries, if hyperactivity and correct medication, with stimulants, not sedatives - but it would be better to know the doctors - I'm not a doctor.
3. From the foregoing, it is clear that, despite the apparent overabundance of energy these children, they are energetically weak. Now imagine such a child in a crowded children's garden or school where the teacher yells and kicks the ruler's table, where at recess, running around, shouting and pushing where in the class beyond the whiteboard is another window, and there are many interesting things, and then someone got up, someone said something, and the teacher is something they need, and have yet to perform a variety of tasks for the hyperactive child is too much. To sit through a lesson and cope with all the requirements for him an impossible task. Hence behind in school, dissatisfaction with teachers, the ridicule of classmates and the neighborhood to the point that the child becomes an outcast, he really develops aggressiveness, and different forms of deviant behavior.
It's a shame, because, as a rule, the intellect of these children are not broken, and often even higher than normal.
4. What does all this mean? This means that you need to make the effort and create such a child favorable conditions for the development. Several of these conditions:
- try to provide the child with ADEQUATE mode - that is, not the standard(!), and suitable for him personally! First and foremost - as little as possible irritants! Guests who violate the usual order of life grandparents-relatives, partying and scandals during the weekend, and better still less. The environment in which the child lives should be calm, stable, soft but firm.
-school: is a class of 6-12 people, or (if impossible) individualne training. At least in elementary school. And forget those old wives ' tales about the necessity of the team - a team that might be a good thing, but the team that will make the child an outcast, worse than his absence.
- hobby. Here, you and the team (a sport, an art school, a choir...). It is important to choose the right coach is strict, but not cruel. There is a great danger that hobby again the school situation, but with a coach to cooperate easier: first, fee-for-service makes people more flexible, secondly, in the same sport each moves at its own pace and there is no such predetermination program as at school, in the third place, the coach is often very disciplined and rigorous people, and hyperactive child a mentor is needed. Only very important here the child NOT to INDULGE, and if he will be tempted to run away (and he will!) - to show firmness and perseverance, but the sport or some other activity to accustom.
-strategy to maintain the strengths of child. The child will often face the fact that something turns out worse than others. So he formed the identity of the loser is very important that this was offset by the understanding of his strengths. He may be good, humane, intelligent, sensible, economic, understands the cats, the kitchen colors? doesn't matter. - most importantly, show that you can see it and appreciate.
5. An important point for parents! Even a few points:
- keep patience and sense of humor. As advised by the doctor szarzewski tales, you need to learn to shrug and look at everything through your fingers. If you move every trouble that will bring you your baby (and he will! and a lot!), exhausted yourself, you will create a tense atmosphere around him, this will inevitably aggravate the condition of your child is a snowball of problems will only increase.
- Try to make yourself a support group of parents with the same problems. Actually, I think it's a good idea to create a psychotherapy group for parents of hyperactive children, because there is nothing worse than to feel isolated and to see that your child is different from others and to experience this shame and rage on the child, and the blame for that rage. When there are the same "martyrs" who will understand your problems - it becomes somehow easier.
Remember what was written on the ring of king Solomon? "This too shall pass". Everything goes, and, most likely, your child will delight you! If you are reading this, then you definitely not all the same - this means that your obnoxious fumes though somewhat lucky he has caring parents. This increases his chances to cope with difficulties that fell to his share. Just don't try too: she knows best - the enemy good. Sometimes it is enough just to be a good parent - you do not need to be perfect!
by the Way, do you know why troubled children often grow up to be successful people? Because from childhood they are accustomed to setbacks and failures do not frighten them. They know that is far from ideal, but they can adapt and find ways of compensation.
So, they have a lot to learn!