In a series of articles I want to tell you about how parenting styles and the position of a parent affect the child. Talk about what the child feels during a particular approach, and how he ultimately feels. And how to achieve the same purpose, that the child knew what he wants. br>
the Parent, it is important to accompany your child in his way, be responsible for it, help to make a choice, time to let go of that at some point the child could say:
"Thank you. Now I know how and what I need. I'll take it."
But it is an idyll, of course. In life it rarely happens.
And as it generally happens in life? Will tell about it. br>
Perhaps somewhere in individual terms, get to know yourself. I must say that the parenting styles of parents I share, based on its experience. And recommendations are also given out based on it)
Today let's talk about controlling and protective parents. br>
I combine these traits into one because they are tightly linked. Where there is control, always a lot of care to this control to support. One without the other is not working. Why is it needed? Another question. The answer is below. I welcome your discussion in the comments.
- Protective and controlling parent initially know what is best for his child. Offers a lot, and develops from the cradle and according to plan, "shoves" (forgive me for the sharpness and flatness) in many circles and classes, just extra time was less and the computer is not sitting. Better know in what circle to go, what class to choose, and then which profession at the same time. Because he is the parent of a life lived. Without it the child will not do. br>
we have then the child? Pair of truancy and not handed over session. Difficulty to find work and generally in life itself. And the inability to answer the question: "Who am I, what I want, what I'm wondering, and what I can do." Just because life decided for me. br>
most Often the children of such parents grow up insecure, timid, unable to make their own decisions. And going out into the world, they feel terrible and immense. Or the second option: sooner or later they break out of control and begin to administer their own rules and make the claim of parents. In future you can hear from your child the following words: "And anyway, why would I want to be that lawyer, I want to sing along! You are the parents to blame, everything was decided for me!" br>
- Why do parents take such a position in the child's upbringing? br>
Just because they are anxious, fear not cope with the situation, and used completely in control of their lives. So trying to plan everything in advance, to choose the already proven option, I'm afraid to try new things ("and suddenly will not work?"). They themselves lack confidence and freedom. br>
- What to do to such parent, if he wants to change a position in education, but cannot? br>
- Allow myself sometimes to relax, to let go of the situation
- Allow yourself to relax and make mistakes
- try to accommodate different situations, when things don't go according to plan, otherwise. But also good.
- Note the pros and cons of different situations. Ask yourself questions, what if I don't do that habitually, as to do otherwise? br>
In any case, the way to change some of their positions difficult and gradual. It is important to give yourself time and seek help from a psychologist who would have helped to understand and feel that you are on the right track. br>
Controlling and protective features are all parents. Just in certain situations, and are manifested in different ways. br>
you characterize? When most often occur? Please share in the comments. br>
About styles of parenting in simple words, the psychologist Oksana Gracheva.