I already wrote about responsibility (https://www.b17.ru/article/85907/), but I want this topic to write more and more. Too often in work and outside of it I run into the problem of responsibility from the people around them. Momma's boy, nothing is wanting teenagers, parents, who do not see the reasons for children's problems, boys and girls, which is so difficult to separate from parents, crowds of adults who shun their responsibilities... but almost all of us, in varying degrees, suffer from the conflict between "need", "want" and "can".
Based on my experience, I can say that the understanding of their capabilities when considering their own needs gives a more or less realistic idea of what you need to undertake and carry "cargo" cases, but what I am not ready yet. Sometimes, of course, a sense of perfectionism plays a cruel joke, and it seems that I can double. In these cases, helping the emerging resistance, laziness, procrastination, shifting responsibility, etc. - all these signs say that I'm doing something wrong and like something is wrong, and then comes the rethinking process.
One of the frequent requests of parents and the grievance grandmothers and grandfathers - "this child wants nothing, spends all his free time on the Internet, interested in nothing". That "spending time online" does not mean that the child is not interested, wrote and spoke many, I too join. She spend a lot of time on the Internet reading interesting articles, communicating and doing work.
go Back to the fact that as many parents think their child doesn't want anything. Why is it so and so? And, in my opinion, it is connected with responsibility. Very often it happens that parents choose for the baby clothes, mugs, school, even friends, rarely there are cases when parents give a choice to the child that is also not helping him. After all, for objective reasons, a child under a certain age are not allowed to choose what and how to do in life. But one of the important things in shaping the personality and ability to accept responsibility is the ability to choose, and this choice must be safe and not traumatic feeling of abandonment and uselessness.
In cases when the parent gives the child a choice and supports it, the child begins to better understand their needs and opportunities, and it naturally begins to understand what he wants, not what he should do grandparents and all the surrounding. It's funny that often parents are suffering from the lack of initiative of the child themselves all the time hated the work because "need" and can't afford a vacation for the soul.